A Nightmare Worth Living Through
by Count Papaya
Summary: With the Yondaime Hokage's seal weakening day by day and the Akatsuki hunting the remaining Bijuu, Tsunade is forced to send Naruto to a hidden school, ran by an old associate of the Sandaime. The name of the school? Youkai Academy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario+Vampire.

This is my first ever fan fiction, my first ever crossover. Weird, huh? After reading **The Sin of Existance**'s fanfic, Know Your Place, (which was an awesome read, for those who like an awesomely powerful Naruto, but was DELETED) I started reading all of Rosario+Vampire. After that I wanted to make ma own fanfic…sadly. Then I became unenthusiastic after reading the other splendid fanfics of the same crossover. But, luckily, most of them are Harem fics or taking Tsukune out of the picture. So, I decided to go on with it either way. I mean, I'm gonna try to do something a bit different then what many of the others are doing. I hope you enjoy it…and if you don't, I apologize for the minutes of your life you wasted reading this filth.

Ehh.

--

--

--

Everyone gets terrified once in their lifetime. Whether you deny it or not everyone has experienced fear once, some more than others, some less than others. In Uzumaki Naruto's case he claims that he has experienced fear less than many, note 'he claims'. Just like many other proud ninja he wasn't one to submit to such feelings, duty and work comes first to a hardworking shinobi. Weakness was never to be an option. Though, there are exceptions.

"H-Huuuuh…?"

His eyes fluttered open only to see a ceiling and room without light. He felt the chill sensation of steel welcomed his back. Grunting tiredly, the blond made an effort to move his arms forward but was stopped by metal bonds; soon he found his legs were also strapped down. Despite the fact all his limbs were tied down, Naruto rose his head as high as he could and squinted through the darkness. He found himself in one of the more solitary rooms of Konoha's hospital. He knew, of course, of the unmistakable tiles that laid flat above him. Though, he had no idea why he was strapped down to a steel bed or why they had used the bare steel beds in the first place, wasn't there optional straps and bonding in the regular mattresses?

"The hell did I do this time..?" he muttered to himself. He noticed, unlike the other times he would wake up at the hospital, the memories of what had caused him to be unconscious didn't flood back to him.

Lost in his thoughts Naruto almost missed the soft chuckling that met his ears.

"Who's there?!"

Whoever it was, they didn't answer.

Naruto's eyes blindly ran across the part of the room he could see. His eyes failed to dilate in the dark. He thought with a scowl whatever happened before he was knocked out must've gotten him good.

"Show yerself!" he said with a shudder. A sudden chill ran down his spine.

"My, my, Naruto," a voice said in faux surprise. "You look so scared! What would ever bring you in such a state?"

Naruto's head violently jerked up as several deranged giggles met his ears. There was no way he could tell where the voice came from, each and every syllable came from a different angle. He put it off as some sort of sick illusion.

"I said who's there?!"

A parade of giggles was his only reply.

"Let me out so I can kick yer ass!" he barked, squirming ferociously. "If you think bindings and shit are gonna stop me, think again, bastard!"

"Now, now, Naruto," it chided, unfazed by Naruto's harsh words. "Is that anyway to treat a friend?"

"Stop hiding and show yourself, coward!"

There was a pause. The temperature dropped tremendously. Naruto quietly shivered as the frigid air and the icy metal both met his naked skin.

"Coward?" it asked. Naruto watched in startled awe as the room's lighting rose enough for him to see. His eyes shot to the large black mass on the far right corner of the room. "Coward?"

"H-Holy…!" Naruto choked out.

The black mass seemed to turn to him, two bright orbs stared right back to his blue eyes. A pearly white smile grew as Naruto's form shook heavily. "You are the one scared Naruto…and I'm terribly sorry to say…"

It crept towards him, it's legs dragged on across the floor.

Naruto stared with wide eyes.

"Wha-ha-aa—?!"

"You are the coward." It's chuckling turned to full blown laughter as it came closer.

The blond's body moved in a motion very similar to that of a fish out of water. His body shaking wildly to be free of its confinements, but his eyes glued to the creature approaching him. He gulped before mustering up some courage.

"What have you done with the others? Where're Sai and Sakura?! What have you done with Yamato-taichou?!"

The figure stopped, its eyes turning towards the wall.

"What have I done with Sai, Sakura and Yamato-taichou?" A giggle escaped its unseen mouth. "I wouldn't know."

"You bastard!" Naruto screamed.

"Na-Ru-To~!" it whined. "What did I tell you about treating your friends that way?" It began dragging itself towards the blond.

"S-Some…" An arm stretched out towards him. "S-Someone he-help—" If possible, the creature's mouth grew wider.

Its chilling hand slapped itself on his shoulder. "We'll have to fix that, won't we?"

"SOMEBODY GET ME OUTTA HERE!" he yelled, sealing his eyes shut.

"Naruto?"

The sound of lights flickering and frantic footsteps met the blonde's ears.

"Naruto! You're okay!" Naruto opened his eyes to see Sakura smiling over him.

_W-Was it some sick nightmare?_

With an observant eye, he noted the keys jammed in-between her fingers and the tears threatening to fall off her eyes.

"S-Sakura? Sakura! _You're_ okay!" He rubbed his wrists after she freed them. "W-Where are we?"

"We're in the hospital; we arrived back in Konoha some time ago." She answered after unlocking the rest of his bonds. She threw herself into the chair right beside him before looking back at him. "You…you don't remember anything do you?"

"Remember…?" He scrunched his face up, thinking. Memories finally hitting back at him. _Sasuke._ "Sa…Sasuke…! Sasuke! Where is he?! What happened to Kabuto and Orochimaru!?"

Sakura continued looking back at him.

"Naruto…"

"What happened, Sakura?"

"You really don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Don't remember?"

He shook his head. "I remember on the bridge… The bastard snake started saying things, pissing me off an' junk."

"After that?"

Pursing his lips, he answered, "I think…I went after him, might've landed a punch, I dunno. I blacked after that or something. Nothing afterwards comes to mind."

Her face crumpled into a rueful grimace.

"Naruto, you-"

"Through your directed anger towards Orochimaru, the Kyuubi was able to take control over your body. You began attacking all in sight, friend or foe, all was a target to you."

Naruto spun to his left, gawking at the same two glowing lights that stared back at him. A ghostly pale man in torn, white robes smiled at him. The man's shaky hand played with the peculiar looking cross on his chest.

"YOU!! Sakura! Wegottagetouttahe—" A gloved hand covered his mouth.

"Naruto. This man saved you, you really should thank him," Sakura interrupted.

"Saved…?"

The man made his way towards the door without looking back at either teenager. "When you are ready, hurry on to the Hokage's office. She would like to speak to you, Naruto."

_Where the hell does he get off, acting so familiar, calling me 'Naruto-kun' and all?_

The man shut the door leaving Naruto and Sakura. The whiskered youth turned to his saddened teammate in question.

"Sakura…? Were you crying?" Sakura didn't answer. Instead, she handed him pants to cover his orange and green frog-covered boxers. "Ah. Thanks."

--

"WHAT? You want to send me out of Konoha with HIM?!" Naruto cried. One meeting with the creepy man was more than enough for the blond. "How can you hand me off so easily like that? I thought you loved me!" he finished, only to receive a paperweight in his face.

Tsunade pinched her eyebrows tiredly. Despite what the blond said she was less then willing to give up Naruto to the man. Honestly, if she had any other chose she would've easily kept him in Konoha but now wasn't the time for second thoughts.

"We don't have a choice, Naruto. We've already gone over it with the council and—"

"Why? WHY don't I have a choice?!" he wailed back. "I don't even know who this creepy guy is…!"

The man coughed an incoherent reply back.

"Please speak up mister…?" Tsunade stated.

"Please call me 'chairman', Lady Tsunade."

Naruto growled at the robed man. "Even so, 'chairman', why should I go out alone with a stranger like you?"

"Naruto!" The boy looked back in question at the Hokage. "Shut it. Chairman—"

"_The_ chairman, please. The director works too and if you feel like it, the 'headmaster'."

There was a short, meaningful silence within the room; but Tsunade continued on with sweat on her brow. "He and the Sandaime were close acquaintances many years ago. Why? I have no clue, but I do now if that doesn't satisfy, he even helped the Yondaime with the development of the 'Corpse Spirit Sealing Method'; you know too well what technique that was."

"Uhhh… No, I don't?"

He received an empty sake bottle to the stomach.

"Naruto," Shizune said, interrupting Tsunade. "You have to understand the seriousness of the situation! You have to go with the chairman, no questions asked!" Tsunade nodded along.

"Why?!"

"Sakura didn't tell you what happened, did she?" Tsunade murmured gravely. Naruto shook his head, watching the woman as she turned her chair towards the window. "I thought as much."

"What happened, Gramma?"

Instead of acting in anger she continued, "From what Yamato reported, Orochimaru provoked you into sprouting the fourth tail."

Naruto's eyes widened.

He remembered what happened last time he'd gone through the transformation_. Pervy sage…_ He almost killed the man.

"H-How bad was it?" he dared to question.

"Bad enough that _I_ had to come along, Naruto," the chairman replied coolly. "The fool almost aggravated you enough to grow the _fifth_ tail." He paused thoughtfully. "It was very fortunate of Lady Tsunade employ that Yamato man. Without him you may have paid a heavy price."

"Whaddya mean…?"

Tsunade continued to emptily stare out the window.

"Your body can only take so much of the Kyuubi's chakra, Naruto. The outer layer of your skin evaporated when the fourth tail developed." With that said, Naruto studied the tanned skin on his left arm and…hello? A silver chain with a sort of lock was tied around his forearm. Why had he not notice before? "Just think of what would happen if fifth tail emerged!"

"What's this, jewelry?" he thought aloud, ignoring Tsunade's rant. A throbbing vein appeared over her head. "REAL men don't wear jewelry."

"Said the boy whom wore a necklace valuable enough to buy a mountain. Excuse me, I meant to say, '_who still wears a necklace valuable enough to buy a multitude of_ _mountains_'," the chairman chuckled out. Naruto glared back in return. "By the by, that is a 'Holy Lock', an item created to block demonic energy. I had it specifically altered to suppress the Kyuubi's malevolent chakra; you should really thank me."

The blond glowered.

"Even so, I can't understand why I have to leave the village," he argued, trying to find a way out of his current predicament. "Could you at least explain that to me?! You guys need all the help you can get! Especially when we're dealing with the Akatsuki!"

Tsunade could not endure it any longer. She threw herself out of the chair, startling both Shizune and Naruto. Taking the boy's shoulders, she picked the hapless teenager off the ground and violently began to shake him.

"You idiot!" she yelled. "The Akatsuki are after the Tailed Demons. Meaning you with all the other Jinchuuriki out there! From what the chairman and Jiraiya have inferred, the Akatsuki already have SEVEN out of NINE Demons!" She stopped, with her hands gently cupping his shoulders. "You're the last one, Naruto. You're the Kyuubi's jailer. We have to do everything in our power to make sure they don't get to you," she finished leaving an uncomfortable silence in the room.

A sneer touched the corners of his lips, he wanted to retaliate, but knew too well she was right. Shooting a glace at robed man he saw the man's wide grin remain. Naruto gulped loudly as he stepped towards the man.

"E-Exactly where are you taking me, again?" he asked nervously. He got a pleased smile in return, which terrified him even more.

"Ah, the moment we've been waiting for, eh, Naruto?" Naruto remained completely silent. The man started to dig through both his sleeves for a moment. His eyes, unfortunately, never moved off of Naruto. He pulled out a large white box and handed it to the blond. "There is an envelope within the box and within that envelope is a piece of paper. Upon that piece of paper is the exact location where your ride will be tomorrow. Please be prompt about it."

"Tomorrow? Ain't that a bit too 'prompt'?" he complained. Naruto opened the box, inspecting the many papers and booklets. Digging further within he found a…green what did people call it again…'blazer'? He dug deeper to find matching pants. "Hell's all this for?"

The chairman only chuckled.

"I shall see you at the opening ceremony at school, Naruto," he laughed while turning to the door. Neither Tsunade nor Naruto made an effort to stop him. Something then hit Naruto.

"School? SCHOOL?! Why the hell am I going ta school for!?" he screamed. "I demand an explanation!"

A vein popped on Tsunade's forehead, blood gushing out wildly as Shizune began to panic. Ignoring the blood flow, Naruto continued to fume as if nothing happened.

--

"Ha! What's with the monkey suit, Naruto?" Kiba asked as he gave a light punch to Naruto's shoulder. "And what's with all the bags? You goin' on some sorta mission?"

Naruto grimaced, remembering the beating he received after calling his 'uniform' the same thing yesterday. He recited the same words that Tsunade ordered him to say. "I'm going on an undercover mission to some civilian school. I don't remember much of the details, but it'll be pretty long."

Kiba whistled as he exchanged looks with his giant dog, Akamaru.

"Wow. It must suck wearing that thing. I'll never understand why civilians hafta wear stupid things to school," he said. Akamaru barked for a moment before Kiba finally answered back, "You said it, boy."

Naruto shrugged while messing with the red tie annoying his neck. He wore a heavy pine green blazer accompanied with brown dress pants and a pair of uncomfortable shoes.

_The only time one should wear such shoes was during the winter. Not summer! Your toes shouldn't be jammed in a hot, stuffy, ugly-ass shoe! _

Being ordered to remove his Konoha forehead protector during his stay, he quickly replaced it with a simple red headband; leaving a single lock of hair in-between his eyes. With a heavy hearted sign, he continued to walk with Kiba and Akamaru strolling right beside him.

"I take it you have no idea when you'll be back?"

"Nope," he replied casually as possible. "The old crone gave me the mission right after I woke up at the hospital."

Kiba frowned with his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I heard about that…you were out for a long time, I heard." Kiba paused to scratch his tattooed cheek. "Some creepy-looking, priest guy was with your teammates when you arrived back. What happened anyway? Sakura seemed really bummed out."

Naruto's shoulders slumped in return. Not only for what Kiba said…they arrived at the southern gates. He saw Tsunade, Shizune, and each member of Team 7, save the boy who ran away years ago. He drew in a long breath and let it hiss out of his mouth.

"Why aren't they wearing any uniforms?"

"They aren't coming. It's a LONE mission. Jealous?"

"Coming from a Genin? Not really."

"Stuff it, mutt."

"There's something you should know, though. I heard ALL the school civilian girls are forced to short, skimpy skirts!" he leered. One of Naruto's eyebrows rose. "Not only that, they wear REALLY short shorts and TIGHT shirts during a class called, P.E., I think that stands for…'Physical Education'…?"

Kiba emphasized 'tight' with a circular groping motion over his chest.

Both eyebrows were arched high on the blond's face.

--

Naruto said goodbye to his friends and a meaningful threat to Sai if he didn't take care of Sakura while he was gone. He turned to the…very large, very weird metal box with wheels that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Is that a train?" he asked to the group behind him. They all shrugged in response. The doors opened with a loud, shrill squeak; revealing a smiling man wearing a strange blue outfit smoking a cigarette. The man waved for Naruto to come in.

"Is called a 'bus', kid. You ride in it," the 'bus' driver drawled. "Now come on in, wouldja? I'm running on a schedule here." With that said, the man turned to Naruto, showing his eerily glowing eyes to the world.

The blond jumped.

"There is NO WAY am I going in there!" He turned to run but was grabbed and pulled roughly inside. The doors shutting before he could rush back outside. He gaped as his goodbye party, each sharing a look of mortification; except for Sai, he just smiled as he always did. He violently hit the walls of glass. "HELP ME! GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

They all gave a strained smile; except for Sai, he just gave the fake smile as he always did.

The bus started up and slowly began to head down the dirt road, they watched as Naruto's face disappear then reappear behind the back window. Yamato leaned towards Kakashi who stood beside him.

"Do you think we should help him, Sempai?" he whispered guiltily. Kakashi shook his head.

"Naw. Just act like you can't hear him from here. He'll understand," he said before making several faux gestures with his hands and ears, wearing a look of confusion on his face. In return, Naruto's look of distress became a crestfallen one. "See? It worked."

"Would you look at that?" Yamato declared in awe.

Sakura shook her head before asking, "Lady Tsunade, do you think Naruto will truly be safe at that school he's heading to?"

Tsunade let out a long sigh. "I can't say for certain, but, he'll be safer from the Akatsuki over there than here; that's for sure."

"How can you be so sure, Hokage-sama? Where exactly is this school of his anyway?" Sai questioned. Tsunade turned back to the village as the 'bus' was out of plain sight.

"A place you can't find on a map and where it's virtually impossible to reach. THAT'S where."

Sai blinked as the new information he received processed in his mind. "Sounds like Naruto's going to be trapped there for awhile, huh?" Sai stated as he, too, left.

Sakura remained quiet before turning towards the village gates. "I wonder how it'll be, in a civilian school and all. Sounds too normal for Naruto, he'll probably be bored out of his mind!"

Tsunade, who was still in earshot, frowned at the irony within Sakura's statement. A school with _that_ sort of name and title would've changed the girl's opinion quite significantly.

--

Naruto hugged his luggage as he stared at the back of the bus drivers head. There had at least been a good half hour of silence between the two. With a nervous gulp he asked, "So…how long will it be till we reach this school, ol' man?"

The bus driver chuckled causing a shiver to run down the blond's back. A chuckle he knew too well.

"It won't be too long, just be patient, boy. We'll be there soon." Naruto immediately knew that he could tolerate this man more than that 'chairman' he had the displeasure of meeting. "Though, I will be honest with you. It will be a bumpy ride." He began to laugh. "I'd tell you to put a seat-belt on…but we don't have any!"

Naruto found himself nervously laughing with the man.

_What's a seat-belt?_

Just as the man had said, the bus started to shake and the outside world became nothing but blurs and questionable glowing lights. The man gave a few more giggles until he began to cackle before speaking up, "Next stop…"

_What's going on?!_

"…**Youkai Academy**."

"WHAT!?"

--

--

--

Ha, ha! My first fanfic. I'm sort of proud and disgusted by it. I had the idea for awhile now. A few months or so, I guess. I got too anxious and decided on typing it anyway. I hope I'll find the strength to work on the next chapter. If you've actually read the entire thing to this sentence, I'd be surprised if I knew or cared. If you're going to review, please use as less 'l33t' as possible. My internet lingo sucks…not as much as I suck at English, though…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto and Rosario Vampire

Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, I really appreciated it. Here is chapter 2.

Eh.

--

--

--

"Would it KILL YOU ta slow down, ol' man?!" Naruto yelled from his seat. It was hard enough for the young blond to keep a tight hold of his seat and his luggage as the bus quaked. The bus driver didn't bother to turn around to answer the boy.

"Maybe," he laughed calmly; a trail of smoke floating up above him.

The blond heavily cursed his luck. It seemed as if nothing was going correctly for the poor boy. Failing his mission and his chance to encounter Sasuke was bad enough for him. Now, he was heading towards a school ran by a creepy priest guy; in a trembling bus; wearing, in his opinion, the ugliest clothes he had ever worn. Nothing was orange! He desperately wished there was someone he could rant to…other than the bus driver with laser vision.

"Someone must really hate me…" The bus driver gave him something in-between a laugh and a snort.

"Either way, sonny, we're coming close to the academy," he said. Naruto felt as the shaking lessened and watched as the glowing lights disappeared, leaving nothing but pitch black darkness.

_We're here already?_

"Be sure you get all your possessions off of this bus, we won't be seeing each other for awhile."

_I'm pretty sure I don't EVER wanna see you again! _

"Ah. That's too bad," he said anyway.

The bus emerged out of the darkness, showing Naruto a land full of dead, barren trees holding flocks of crows; skulls lying every; and what frightened him the most…an endless sea of red. He shivered stepping out of the metal box with his belongings in hand, the bus driver chuckled.

"Here's a word of advice, sonny…" Naruto didn't bother turning around, he knew the man's unnatural eyes were already staring him down. "Don't tell anyone you're human."

"Huh!?" The blond turned around in flash only to see the doors slam shut and the bus driver cackle. "Open the door! What the hell didya mean by that?!" He watched in horror as the bus drove away back into the tunnel they came from. "EVIL BASTARDDD!!" he swore, screaming after the retreating bus.

He waited many moments before sighing. Picking his things up; he began his long trek down the dirt road, not before kicking the sign-carrying scarecrow beside him.

'Youkai Academy,' it read.

Naruto glared at his stomach in frustration.

"This all your fault, I just know it."

--

Rise. Lower. Watch. Repeat.

Naruto stared numbly at the dark, forbidding storm cloud that hovered above his new school. Minutes ago, he came walking towards the disturbing, castle-like school before he had made a small, but very important, discovery as he came to the school gates. Whenever he would step forward…lightning would flash across his eyes and the sound of thunder would hit his ears.

He was completely startled at first, but afterwards he found himself disgustingly intrigued.

Rise. Lower. Watch. Repeat.

Inwardly, he wondered if anyone was annoyed by the everlasting lightning and thunder.

"Excuse me, but, didn't 2nd period begin just a few minutes ago?" Naruto turned to see a young woman approaching him. She had long, dark brown hair tied in ribbons and light purple eyes; dressed in a white blouse and long brown skirt. She stopped and crossed her arms across her chest, making an effort to look intimidating. "Unless you want to deal with the school police, I suggest you get to class."

"2nd period? It's only, like what…9 o'clock?" said Naruto as he studied the peculiar, but pretty, woman for a moment.

The woman gave him a look.

"Just because school recently reopened, doesn't excuse tardiness," she said with authority. "Now, which class are you in? Nekonome-sensei's or Kagome-sensei's…?" she trailed off.

"I don't think I'm in anyone's class, miss," Naruto said. He lightly shook the luggage he held. "See? Just got here."

Seeing his belongings, the woman blushed and quickly apologized.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" she said, bowing again and again. "There are many trouble-making students here, please understand!"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly.

"Aww, you don't hafta to explain yourself, sis!" he said, embarrassed. "Yeah, you're gonna hafta be strict with kids like me, huh?" Somehow, he couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. If it was an ugly, old man coming up to him; Naruto would've probably screamed at the man, telling him to 'stop busting his balls'; whatever that meant. _I'm probably getting soft…_

The woman gave him a smile that oddly reminded him of Shizune back in Konoha.

"Thank you for understanding," she replied gratefully as she gave a small bow. "You've just arrived to the academy, yes?" Naruto nodded. "Do you need any help with your luggage…umm?"

"Nah…and the name's Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, sis!" he chirped. He instantly felt better talking to someone nicer, prettier and much more normal than the bus man. In fact; he felt a nice, normal conversation was necessary. "Didja know if you take a step right here the thunder and lightning goes off?"

"Yes, I know," she said with sweat on her brow. "You aren't the only one who has made that discovery…" With that said, the sound thunder reached their ears. The brunette stretched her arm and pointed past Naruto. "See?"

Naruto turned to see an older boy dressed in the same uniform stomp his foot down, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Oh."

--

"Ya' know, sis…you never quite told me your name," Naruto said climbing up the stairs to his dorm room, his female companion a few steps behind him.

He just received his single key from a monstrously tall man at the front desk. He had to actually look UP to see the man's face…while he was sitting down. Luckily, his new friend was there to assist him in his blubbering state. Though, his room key looked absurdly outdated; it was rusty, made of iron, and looked like it was stained with droplets of old blood.

_Why does everything look like it came out of a horror movie?!_

"Ah! How rude of me. I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Uzumaki." Naruto waved his hand lightly over his face; somewhat uncomfortably with the title. "You can me Ruby; my full name is Dojo Ruby."

"Ruby, huh? That's a nice name, sis, suits ya too!" She smiled in return. "Ain't that some sorta stone or…something?"

"Naruto, huh? That's a nice name, suits you too," she mimicked playfully. "Ain't that a sort of cake you find in ramen?"

"Maelstrom..."

"Huh?"

"Naruto as in maelstrom," he corrected. Not that it really mattered to him, an absolute fan of ramen. "Are you a student here too?"

"No, I work here."

Then, instantly, look of horror planted itself on Naruto's face.

"W-WHAT?! There's NO WAY you could work here!" he declared with a squirm. "You're waaaaaay too nice and normal to be working in a creepy and weird academy like this, sis!"

"Creepy? Weird? You're one of the few students who've actually said that," she replied with a puzzled face. "Everyone else thinks the school has a dignified and cultured air to it."

_Everyone else must be fucking weird then. _

They stopped in front of the door to '110', Naruto's new room. Twisting the door knob, Naruto entered a normal, plain room. Bare walls, a small kitchen on the right corner, and a futon rolled up inside an open closet. His shoulders sagged, letting the bags fall to the ground. With an excited holler, he jumped and began to roll on the wooden floor without bothering to take his shoes off.

_Hot damn! This place is WAY better than my apartment!_ He thought, ignoring Ruby who watched him by the doorway. _This school is probably meant for rich bastards with a taste for horror cinema. _

He stopped in mid-roll with one leg sticking out in the air. With a stupefied expression, he looked at Ruby who covered her mouth with her delicate hands, trying to stop the childish laughter that escaped her mouth. Realizing what he was doing, Naruto quickly sat up, coughing into his right hand; acting as if nothing happened.

"Ahem, right." Ruby laughed at his faux seriousness. "So how…er, when do I get my…ugh, how you say…'schedule'?" Naruto said uneasily. Going back to school AFTER graduating three years ago was going to be horrible, he just knew it; a civilian school at that. Ruby gave a short giggle.

"It all depends, Mr. Uzumaki. Exactly what grade are you in? Are you a second year or a third year?" The blond gave a shrug.

"Haven't been to school for about three years now, so I can't say."

"Three years?" she asked, surprisingly taking it in easily. Naruto gave a nod. "Well… How old are you?"

"15," he said.

"15! Really!? You look at least 16 or 17!" Naruto puffed his chest out with pride. His growth spurt did wonders for him. "You're probably in the first year. Then again…"

"What?" he pushed on. Ruby put on a thoughtful face before answering back.

"First years aren't to come in the academy for at least two more days for the opening ceremony." With that said, Naruto gave a happy sigh.

"Haaaa…! That means I have two days to myself then, huh?" he sang. Much to his displeasure she shook her head.

"I doubt it; the staff doesn't like students running around campus. You'll probably be placed into one of the other classes before opening ceremony."

Naruto cursed under his breath.

"Awww… Don't take it personal, Na-Ru-To," someone whispered. Naruto knew that voice. Jumping up, he ran beside Ruby. "We just don't like our students to go off deprived of their much needed education."

Feeling cold air hit his neck, Naruto turned to see the ever smiling chairman of board looking straight at him.

"HOLY SH-" He covered his mouth before any other words could come out of his gaping mouth.

"Holy indeed," the chairman chuckled. Turning to Ruby he said, "I think it'll be necessary if you gave little Naruto a tour around the school. I'm sure he'd appreci-"

"T-TOUR?! That's a great idea!!" He pushed Ruby and, much to his discontent, the chairman out his room. "Guh-bye!" Quickly locking the door and grabbing Ruby's hand, he ran down the stair way.

Satisfied after a few minutes of running, he let go of an exhausted Ruby and stopped to lean on a dry, withered tree.

"W-what was all that," she paused to catch her breath, "about?"

Naruto looked at her with a skeptical face.

"Weren't you at all scared?! Bastard scares the hell outta me," he concluded with a light quiver.

"Scared? Of the chairman? Of course not, Uzumaki-kun, I'm his personal aide."

Naruto gaped.

"I'm **so** sorry."

--

"-And over there are the man-eating bushes! True to its name, it only eats those who are of the male gender. Luckily for you, Uzumaki-kun, they've been trained only to eat human males!"

"…Great," Naruto said lamely as he stepped farther away from the window.

This tour he was on made everything about Youkai Academy worse for Naruto. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. Eight-eyed chipmunks; freakishly large spiders; giant leeches (one had fallen on his head earlier); trees with fruit that resembled human head; even the student were odd, he passed a heavy boy with leaves growing out of his head. He knew for sure now that this wasn't a normal school for rich bastards with a taste for thriller cinema...no, this was a school was way off, even for civilians! The chipmunks had proved it.

_What the hell did Gramma get me into?! _

Though, now walking through the halls of the actual school, he remembered the words that come out of Kiba's mouth.

'_-Forced to wear __**short**__,__** skimpy skirts**__!'_ The three amazing words continually echoed throughout his mind.

_**S-Short**__? __**Skimpy**__? __**Skirts**__?! Each word together in one sentence? Impossible!_

He looked around and, amazingly enough, every single girl he saw wore SHORT and SKIMPY skirts. His legs froze instantly. How could he not notice?! He had been walking throughout the school for over an hour or two. How could the pupil of the self-proclaimed 'super-pervert', Jiraiya of the legendary Three Ninja, NOT notice woman passing by wearing the shortest skirts he had ever seen?! Sakura's own skirt didn't count, she wore shorts under them. No, these girls had nothing but LEG. Speaking of legs…

Naruto's eye caught a shoe, above that shoe was a stocking, above that stocking was a long, peach-colored leg, above that leg was a…a short and skimpy skirt. His eyes trailed further up until he found the owner of the leg staring back at him.

A cute brunette stared before waving timidly. Naruto gave a stupid smile and waved back, enthusiastically. The girl blushed and turned back to her friends, giggling. Before congratulating himself; Naruto saw the girl's hair moved, revealing a large hole which let a long and snake-like tongue slither through. It waved at him.

He ran back to Ruby, who was completely ignorant of his disappearance.

--

"After the opening ceremony there will be an entire school day for the new students to choose and enter a club, just as the humans do!" Ruby had led Naruto to a less populated hallway; climbing up the stairs he followed her till she stopped in front of a door. "In case you're wondering how club activities go, I'm going to introduce you to a few good friends of mine, the Newspaper club!"

With an extravagant introduction, she opened the door with an outstretched arm. Her blissful face instantly turned to a deadpan one. Naruto peered inside to see a small, empty classroom with one blond woman napping atop on of the tables.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…"

"…Nekonome-sensei…?" she asked, shaking the woman lightly. Naruto made his way by the window and patiently sat on one of the many large boxes.

"I thought you said 'friends', sis. 'Friend' ain't plural."

She gave an annoyed glare to the boy who ignored it in return. The blond woman stirred in her sleep, muttering incoherent things.

"Nekonome-sensei…? Sensei? Sensei!"

With an entire moment of shaking the woman woke up stretching her arms out, releasing a loud and long yawn. Much like a cat, Naruto noted. While adjusting her glasses, Nekonome-sensei bolted up and leaned towards Naruto, much too close for the blond's comfort.

"Huh…?" she said. Naruto felt a long nail poking the sides of his cheeks. She began to laugh with a ditzy expression. "I like you already!"

"Eh?" Naruto asked, confused in record time.

"Nekonome-sensei, this is Uzumaki Naruto!" Ruby chirped happily, thankfully grabbing the feline-like woman's attention from the blond. "And Naruto, this is Nekonome-sensei! She is the advisor for the Newspaper club… Speaking of which; Sensei, where are Tsukune and the others?"

The woman in question ignored her and continued playing with the distressed Naruto's whiskers.

"C-Could you stop?"

"Nope!"

"O-Okay then…" Taken back by the woman's bright answer, Naruto continued to endure the pain of sharp nails on his face.

"Nekonome-sensei?" Ruby asked again.

"Ah! They're probably roaming the school about now," Taking a firm hold of each side Naruto's face, stretching his flesh out to comical proportions. "Dontcha remember, Ms. Ruby? Club activities won't start till after the opening ceremony."

"Owwwwwwww," Naruto slurred out.

Ruby gave herself a soft bonk on the head.

"I forgot! I'm sorry Mr. Uzumaki, you'll have to meet them later, then." The boy she addressed waved his hand at her, garbling out something along the lines as, 'it's okay'; she couldn't tell, his face was still being violated. "How about you, Nekonome-sensei, are you busy at the moment? I was hoping Mr. Uzumaki would get the idea of what happens in a standard club."

Naruto watched as the top of Nekonome's hair waved, like cat ears. _Weird…_ he thought as his face threatened to rip in half.

"Actually… You caught me a bad time, I was redecorating the room!"

"More like you were procrastinating," Naruto retorted smoothly; before finding himself rolling on the ground, holding his blood-spewing face in pain. "MY FACE!"

Nekonome licked the blood off her sharpened claws before answering, "I guess I have time for redecoration later, I'll be happy to show Naruto-kun how the Newspaper club works!" Walking towards one of the boxes she pulled out a single newspaper.

"Show Naruto what now?" Naruto asked with a face resembling a 'Tic-Tac-Toe' board. He studied the paper that was quickly shoved in his face.

"_This_ is what we do, Naruto!" mewed Nekonome. "Our club is in charge of making the school newspaper, we right articles, we take pictures, you name it! We've even traveled to the human world at times! Planning on joining…?"

"No, not really."

Her claws shot out.

"MY FAAAAACE!" he wailed, rolling on the floor, he was leaving quite a large trail of blood on the floor. Ruby took his arm, helping the crying blonde on his own two feet. She offered a guilty smile.

"Only a few times I've ever seen sensei so active, I think she's taken a liking you, Mr. Uzumaki," she declared, hoping to lighten the situation. The blonde glowered.

"You act as if that's a good thing." He hurried towards the door.

"Ah yes, Uzumaki Naruto, correct?" questioned Nekonome. Naruto turned to give her a look of disbelief. She had been calling him by his name for almost five minutes, now she asks whether or not he was Uzumaki Naruto? What was up with this woman anyway?

_Probably stoned on cat nip er something_, he thought; chuckling at the thought.

"Yeah…I'm Naruto."

"As I thought!" she congratulated herself before continuing, "I need you at the bus stop tomorrow in the beginning of 3rd period-"

"Half past ten!" Ruby said helpfully.

"Exactly! Naru-… Where did he go?"

Ruby turned to see Naruto nowhere in sight and the door he stood near swaying to and fro.

"Uzumaki?"

--

Stuffing his hands into the side pockets of his pants, Naruto continued to walk aimlessly through the more secluded part of school grounds… He wasn't necessarily 'aim-less', he was hoping to find the school dorm; now, he was starting to regret running from Ruby. The cat lady, no; Ruby, yes.

"Aww, man! It's getting dark out too!" he exclaimed to himself. "I better get outta here before-"

His rant was interrupted by a soft whimpering. His head twisted around wildly before catching sight of dim light. Naruto rushed forward to find a little girl tied by her feet above a pile of spikes made of…ice? The slim rope keeping the girl up threaten to slip as a small candle continuously under it.

_A simple, but deadly trap to those who don't have the ability to break free; like me_!

Unnoticed by the saddened girl, he gently blew the candle out and walked up the tree to the branch holding her up Grabbing hold of the rope above the child's ankles, he gave a hard yank which threw the girl up in the air and into his arms, causing her to scream.

"AHHH!!" she squealed, startling the blond.

"Gah!?! Little girl stop screaming! You're s-safe now! Shut up please!"

"W-What?! Don't drop me! Don't drop me!!" she screamed, wiggling around frantically in the blond's arms.

"Little girl!! Stop moving around so much or I WILL drop you!" She froze, looking up at the blond. "Understand?"

She nodded.

"Understood."

--

"So Yukari, is it?" Naruto asked as he played with her large, black hat. The girl had an interesting sense of fashion consisting of a short cape and the hat he had just tried on. "What's a lil' girl like you doing in a big scary school like this?" Instead of answering, she swiped her hat away.

"I am not a 'little girl'!"

"You still didn't answer my question," Naruto replied. The girl huffed with a pout, reminding him of Konohamaru and his gang back home. _Whiny little brats…_

"I…got into trouble with my friends, so the tied me up here." Naruto gawked.

"Into that thing?!" Yukari nodded sadly. "What kind of sick friends do you hav—"

A bright ray of light shot up in the air before Naruto could finish. His face went pale as sickening sensation hit him and was dragged to his stomach. A dark, intense energy blew past him as did a flock of screeching bats. The blond made no hesitation when he bolted up and zoomed past the little girl, dimly aware she was calling after him.

_H-Holy shit...!_

Yukari watched with a disappointed face as she watched her savior disappear into the night.

"I didn't even get his name…" she whined.

--

Tsukune laid flat on the ground, bleeding, after the supreme kick he received from 'Inner' Moka. He couldn't blame her though, waking up only to find someone straddling you was pretty inexcusable. If he found a man riding atop of him, he'd instinctively kick the culprit sky high…just as he was. His eyes rolled up to see Moka turning her back to him with a certain scorn. He really did it this time, huh?

"So…Yukari had 'Outer' Moka drink an aphro…"

"An 'aphrodisiac'," she finished, leaving Tsukune blushing. "To intensify whatever petty feelings she had for you." Tsukune pushed himself up as Moka placed her hands on her hips.

"All those pushy things today…" he trailed off.

"All which were the aphrodisiacs complete doing," she stated before turning to him. "My vampire pride will never allow one such as you, an insignificant human, come anywhere near me," she declared with her body completely facing him. "Even if we do share the same body, the same experiences we are NOT the same person and we do NOT share the same heart; remember that well, Tsukune."

Tsukune remained quiet, studying 'Inner' Moka's face intensely. It could've been eyes tricking him or the fact the area became so dark; but he could've sworn he saw a light pink blush plastered upon Moka's pale skin. He watched as her eyes trailed to the ground, trapped in though.

"Naturally, it would be impossible for one such as you to win my heart. You'd have to seduce me first." Tsukune hit the floor head first in anguish. "Exactly my thoughts, it is completely and utterly futile." She lowered herself to the ground just as Mizore and Kurumu came running in.

"Tough luck for 'Outer' Moka then," Mizore said coolly. Kurumu nodded enthusiastically, agreeing with her rival in love.

"Excellent work, Moka!" she cheered on.

'Inner' Moka ignored the further chattering of her three classmates, she turned to a single tree with a rock in hand. Casually tossing the rock up and down, she waited before shooting it towards the upper branches of the tree. A surprised yowl met the party's ears before the sound of a large body hitting the ground.

"What the hell was that, Akashiya?!" shrieked the blue-haired succubus before following the silver haired vampire.

"Something that was watching us," Mizore said as razor-sharp icicles grew off of her slim fingers.

"They must've heard Moka address Tsukune as a human!"

"Then we'll have to persuade them to keep a secret."

They stopped to see Moka standing a front of the tree she hit, wearing a strained expression on her face. All heads turned to the rattling leaves of a nearby bush, they watched as the culprit jumped out before them.

"It's…"

"It's a..."

"…An orange cat?" Kurumu finished off turning to the mortified Moka beside her. "Instead of hitting one of your own lame bats or those infernal crows, you hit a _cat_. A cat. Really, Moka, that's hitting an all time low."

"Say another word and that mouth of yours is good as gone."

The cat nervously stumbled on the ground, staring at the four with its bright blue eyes before hightailing off in a random direction. The academy students did nothing but watch the panicky thing run off.

"Do you think we should go and get it, Moka?" Tsukune asked his beautiful companion. "It was heading towards those meat-eating bushes you told me about."

"They only eat humans males, remember?" Mizore stated, expressionless. "The only one who we should worry about here is you, the lone _human_ male."

Tsukune gave a tired shrug and walked back towards the school dorm with Mizore and Kurumu trailing after him. 'Inner' Moka gave one last glance before departing.

_I could've sworn it was someone…_ She frowned before walking away.

"Tsukune! Tsukune!" Moka turned to see a frantic Yukari run up to the brunette, hugging his waist. "Did you…"

"What is it Yukari?" Tsukune asked as Kurumu jumped up from behind.

"You?! How'd you survive?"

Both Mizore and Kurumu fell to the ground bleeding as heavy cement blocks hit their heads.

"I… Did you see a blond-haired guy with blue eyes run through here?! He saved me from that sick torture device that blue cow and her follower made!"

"Blond-haired guy?"

"Torture device?"

"Follower…?" Mizore repeated with an eye tick.

"Yeah! Yeah! He rescued me then ran over this way after Moka's transformation!"

Moka's eyes widened ever so slightly before turning back to where the orange cat ran off to.

_I may just be paranoid… that cat did have blue eyes. But in the mean time…_

"Before going on any further…you have a lot explaining to do, Yukari."

"EEEK!"

--

Naruto fell inside his dorm room for his legs gave out from all the running he spent trying to get away from the treacherous man-eating bushes. Brushing off leaves and twigs, he removed his garments and threw his red headband off to the floor.

"Maybe I shoulda pretended to be a magical talking cat instead…they could've carried me to the dorm rooms…maybe even offer granting a wish."

Thoughts of the silver haired beauty flooded back to him. Her insane strength caused the rock to shoot out of the tree at full force almost hitting him. If he didn't detect the rock in time, there would've been a large wound on his face by now. Just as they said, curiosity killed the…cat.

_What's with all the cat related things today?!_

Sighing, he threw the futon over his head, shutting his eyes. He knew for certain he wasn't going to wake up tomorrow to see that cat lady for whatever she needed him for. He was just going go to sleep, sleep, sleep the rest of the day off.

At least he hoped so.

--

--

--

Uggh. Finished it. Only like…what, like, 4000-someting words? I'll start on the next chapter later on…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario Vampire

Ha! I really, really appreciated the reviews from last time, thanks for that. Though, many people have asked and wondered about the pairings of this little story of mine…I really have no idea what to say. I don't think counts as a harem, but I'll say that there will be a just a _few_ girls somewhat interested in Naruto…not, you know…falling madly in love with him. Remember, this is my first fanfiction, so don't expect high things outta me. And there was that one that Inner Moka said in the last chapter; about having different hearts, souls, and stuff. Those words were from the first chapter from the second series. Don't get too hopeful now.

Oh…and there is no **YAOI** whatsoever. Sorry girls and guys into such things, I wouldn't be able to pull it off even if I tried.

Thank you for your time.

Eh.

--

--

--

There were no doors, no windows within the room Naruto sat in; it was a large white room containing nothing but a wooden table and him. He made no effort to wonder how he entered a room without doors or any other sort of opening, in fact, he wasn't thinking at all. His mind was completely still. Pushing himself off the ground, he stood up and made his way towards the table. The sound of his sandaled feet hitting the floor echoed throughout the hollow room.

He abruptly stopped and watched as an instant ramen cup appeared, accompanied with a pair of wooden chopsticks. The blond didn't question how the cup appeared or why it did so. Rolling up his black sleeves, he felt a drop of saliva fall on to the floor below. Ah, he was drooling, not that it really mattered to him. Naruto slowly ripped the plastic top off to reveal a hot, beautiful batch of instant ramen. He took a deep breath, inhaling the steam. It was miso, his favorite flavor. Capturing a bundle of noodles with his chopsticks, he closed his eyes as it came into his open mouth.

His eyes flashed open with bewilderment. There was nothing but wood in his mouth. Naruto frantically grabbed the cup and peered inside.

It was empty.

--

His eyes opened.

"GUWAH!" Naruto shouted; bolting up into a sitting position on his futon as cold sweat covered his naked skin.

"Anything wrong, Naruto?"

"Naw, justa nightmare..." he replied with a yawn, turning to his female companion. "It's weird, 'cause it's, like, the fifteenth time I've had that dream. Maybe it's because I didn't eat anything last night."

"You think so?"

"I guess…"

"Interesting."

"Yeah…" Naruto trailed off, blinking, waiting for recognition to sink in. "Nekonome-sensei…?"

The upper locks of her blond hair twitched. "Yes?"

"How did you…?" She pointed to the door behind her. "Ah?"

"You left the door open, so I waltzed in here waiting for you to wake up!"

"Ah."

"You didn't show up at the bus stop, so I came to check up on you!"

"Eh?"

"The field trip, remember? I told you yesterday before you disappeared!"

"Oh."

There was a long and uncomfortable silence between the two, more like it was uncomfortable for Naruto; Nekonome-sensei looked as if she didn't mind it at all. She sat there and he sat there, both waiting for each other to speak up. The younger blond coughed expectantly at the woman.

"Mew?"

"Could you…get out for a sec?"

"Why, of course," she said as she stood up and made her way towards the exit, leaving Naruto to himself.

He hugged his arms and began to shiver.

--

"I still don't understand why I hafta wear this ugly thing," Naruto grumbled as he played with the cloth around his neck. "It's uncomfortable, horrid and…and ugly! This stupid tie won--" He was startled as he felt hands around his collar. Nekonome-sensei stopped in her tracks, correcting the red tie. She finished with a smile and shut eyes, giving him a light pat on the head. "T-Thanks…?"

"If you practice more often you'll have no trouble with it later on," she declared, pulling him towards the large crowd of students by the ear. Nekonome raised an arm, waving to them all. "Good morning, my beloved students!"

"Good morning, Nekonome-sensei," they greeted back in synch. Many of them snickered at the sight of their teacher and the blond boy before receiving a fiery glare.

"Under odd circumstances this young man arrived to the academy earlier than expected, so for the day he'll be joining class 2-1's special training!" the cat woman said with excitement. "Please treat him with respect as you do with your other classmates!"

_Training? She brought me out here for 'training'?_

She gave Naruto a slight push forward, "Go on, go on, Naruto! Introduce yourself!"

Naruto stepped forward with a sour expression, his eyes trailing over the students who studied him warily. He spotted the short-haired girl he rescued yesterday waving at him enthusiastically. He put on a sheepish smile while adjusting his red headband.

"Name's Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meetcha!"

In the back, young Yukari tugged on Tsukune's sleeve, pointing at the blond excitedly.

"See? See?! That's him, Tsukune! He's the blond guy who rescued me yesterday!" She looked up at the brunet's face curiously. "Are you sure you didn't see him?"

Tsukune turned to Moka, Kurumu and Mizore who all shared the dumbfounded face he did. He looked back at the young witch, "None of us saw him, Yukari. Are you sure it's him?"

Yukari nodded. "I'm positive!"

Before continuing, the class turned to the incoming bus; none of them noticed the grim look on the new blonde's face.

_B-Bus man…!_

--

"You brought us all out here for a silly 'fruit hunt'?" Naruto moaned as he massaged his face, Nekonome-sensei had been playing with his cheeks through the entire trip; not only that, she'd claw at him if he put up any resistance. If it wasn't for the Kyuubi's healing, he would've bled to death by now.

The trip had brought the entire class to a sort of swamp-like area, stretching towards dark, ominous woods. Not a good sign to the blond youth.

The dark-haired boy next to him wore the same look of dismal.

"I thought we came out here for special training Nekonome-sensei," the boy said nervously with a risen hand, "What's this about fruit all of a sudden?!"

Nekonome-sensei turned to the two with the same ditsy expression.

"Ah, but it is training!"

"I don't understand…"

"First off; it's strawberry and grape season here in the forest, attracting many birds and other small critters!" She pulled out an unusually large butcher knife before continuing, "Because of that, the carnivorous plants and such have been eating quite well; it's the perfect time for us to gather nature's blessings!" She pulled out a spiky creature with multiple mouths and multiple slimy tongues.

_WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!_ Naruto 'screamed' in his head. Thoughts of the girl he leered at yesterday came back to him; he trembled.

Many of the students gasped in awe at the thing.

"It's a monster durian!"

"That is _not_ a fruit."

"So, so tasty!"

"That thing's MOVING! IT'S MOVING!"

"Awesome!"

"It's SMILING!"

"Interestingly enough, they're so rare to find that only a few get harvested each year!" Nekonome slammed the knife into the fruit; giving it a painful and bloody death. Licking the durian's blood off her hand, much like a cat, she continued, "You all are going off to find more of these or any other yummy fruit you come across!"

Naruto gagged as the smell that came across his nose. The fruit reeked of foul blood, just a thousand times worse. He watched in sick fascination as many of the other students grew with excitement. The blonde shrugged and put his hand in the air.

"So how's this all gonna work out, sensei? Are you just gonna toss us out in the forest, expecting us to gettcha some food?" He paused to regain his thoughts. "Does this even count as a grade?"

Many of the other students looked at him then back at Nekonome.

"Ah-ha, thank you for reminding me, Naruto!" Naruto glowered. "It won't necessarily count for a grade; it's more like a…a fun, little activity for us all!"

_The forest is dangerous! She thinks it's fun?! I could get eaten…again! _Naruto thought in anguish.

"Everyone, because it is dangerous alone so get into groups, no less the four; and if any of you are afraid of getting lost, you can stay! Understand?" Many of them nodded in response. "Good! Happy hunting!"

Naruto watched as many of the other students gathered into little groups and headed into the depths of the forest. He yawned tiredly; he had no intention of reliving the Forest of Death…or yesterday.

_Goddamn bushes. _

He reckoned if he stayed put, nothing would happen-

"Naruto! Are you going to stay here too?" He turned to see a curious Nekonome-sensei. "The bus driver and I were about to go fishing, would you like to join us?"

"Goodbye, sensei."

"Eh?"

He left before she could stop him from walking towards the remaining students.

_Now, now…who do I join? _

"Mr. Uzumaki!" Naruto turned just in time to see the young witch, Yukari, stop in front of him.

_Jackpot!_

"Eh? Yu…kari…yeah. Yeah! It's Yukari, right?" She smiled brightly as he remembered her name.

"And your name is Mr. Uzumaki?" Naruto nodded.

"Oy, oy! You don't hafta be so formal now, just call me Naruto!" he finished with his trademark grin. He crouched down to her level before continuing, "So whatcha need, Yukari?"

"I was just wondering if you'd…" She hesitated, looking down towards the ground where her left foot was scrubbing. Naruto chuckled at how adorable the girl looked now; though, if he made a comment she'd probably chew him out. "…Come and join our group!"

"Eh, sure, why not?" Naruto shrugged; it would save him the trouble of looking. The little girl shot him a wicked smile in return; he began to regret his decision. Entangling her fingers with Naruto's, she dragged him with questionable might. "S-So, Yukari, where's your group? Is it that one?" He pointed to a group of semi-normal looking girls on the side.

"Nope, my friends are over there!" Naruto's blue eyes followed her slim finger to…he gawked in astonishment.

_Whoa…!_

The blond saw a group consisting of three _extremely_ beautiful girls and a lone male, the same who objected the thought of fruit hunting. With a sudden thought, he recognized two of the girls from yesterday along with the boy.

The shortest of the group was a girl with blue hair, like that cotton candy. Naruto liked cotton candy. Her eyes were a glistening purple and carried a simple and mischievous look as she talked to the brunet boy. She sported a yellow sweater that hugged her figure nicely.

The taller girl he recognized had short violet hair had a cute but sharp look to it. She wore a stylish blouse that had long sleeves above her school skirt and a pair striped stockings. Turning to from the boy to him, Naruto was caught by her blue eyes. He felt a sudden chill as they regarded him, it was a pleasant chill though; somewhat like eating a snow cone on a hot day.

Lastly, there was one girl in particular he did not recognize. She had long, silky pink hair that he sadly admitted was better than Sakura's own. Her skin was pale and complimented her glimmering emerald eyes. All in all, Naruto found her beautiful.

In fact, they were all beautiful. So beautiful he made it an S-Class propriety to learn their names.

Though, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to the silver-haired beauty that almost decked him with a single stone the day before. What ever happened to her, he may not know, but three cute girls were enough to replace one.

He could care less about the boy; Uzumaki Naruto just didn't roll like that.

"T-Those are your friends? Those three hawt chicks?!" Yukari nodded. "Wow, Yukari! I'm pretty jealous of you right now…"

"You should be! One of them is my lover!"

Before he could question the little girl, Naruto found himself the center of attention. Putting up a grin, he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment as Yukari continued to hold his hand. This action didn't go unnoticed. The blue haired girl spoke up first.

"Lose your interest in Tsukune that fast, Yukari?" she said with haughty tone. "Clinging to every guy who goes out his way to save you isn't very healthy."

"Well, at least I don't go around throwing my breasts out in people's faces!" Yukari retorted as she hid behind Naruto.

"What breasts? You're flat as an ironing board!"

"BLUE-HAIRED COW!"

"PERVERTED MIDGET!"

A pathetic and bloody cat fight would've started if only the brown haired male didn't step in with an outstretched hand.

"U-Uzumaki Naruto was it?" he said, trying to gain everyone's attention. "Yukari did say something about a blonde guy saving her yesterday; it was you, wasn't it?"

"Um…yeah. Yeah, it's Naruto," the whiskered teen replied nervously, he grabbed the boy's hand and shook it lightly. "Nice ta meetcha…"

"Tsukune! It's Aono Tsukune, Naruto. Thanks for taking care of Yukari, we really appreciate it."

The purple haired girl coughed and the blue haired girl rolled her eyes.

_Tsukune…where have I heard that name…?_

"You have to forgive our friends here, Naruto-san, they get…bitter easily," the pink girl said with an apologetic smile. "My name's Moka by the way."

_Moka~! What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame!_

Naruto gave a bashful grin, laughing stupidly. "It's okay! My friends back home are the same way!"

Moka and Tsukune laughed nervously along having no idea why he was laughing in the first place.

"Well…um…that's Mizore," Tsukune introduced, pointed to the purple-haired beauty who looked back at Naruto with a cool gaze.

"Nice to meet you," she said.

_Mizore~!_ _What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame! _

"And that's Kurumu," Tsukune said, pointing to the blue-haired girl shooting glares at the witch girl.

_Kurumu~!_ _What a wonderful naaaaaaaaaaaame…and awesome rack! _

"Tsukune-kuuuuuuuuuuuun! Why did you introduce me last?" she whined childishly, pushing her chest onto Tsukune's flesh. The boy turned red and began to ramble incoherently, starting a fight between the girls.

_Lucky bastard… _

Naruto watched, intrigued as the many females began to battle among themselves, playing tug-o'-war with the hapless Tsukune, before a loud, menacing growl stopped them. They turned to Naruto who blushed brightly as he held his stomach.

"Could we…start this fruit hunt thing, now? I'm getting pretty hungry."

"Obviously," Mizore stated with a deadpan tone.

--

As he walked through the forest with his new acquaintances, Naruto found himself quick friends with the older boy, Tsukune. An ordinary, polite guy he was, decided the blond. The only thing about Tsukune that irked Naruto was the fact he had a real, live harem… A HAREM, an actual HAREM, just how cool was that!? Just as comics and cartoons back home portrayed; a shy guy having the ability to make drop-dead beautiful woman instantly falling in love with him. Naruto's hopes of obtaining Jiraiya's goal in life began to wane a bit, all the sudden cat fights and other jealous males would give him no peace; the only good part was the beautiful woman, it seemed. The thought of dieing from chronic nosebleeds seemed more realistic now.

"Naruto, I remember Nekonome-sensei saying that you arrived to the academy early, does that mean you're a first year?" Tsukune asked the blonde beside him. Naruto shrugged.

"I guess so, does it really matter?" he murmured as Yukari continued to hold his arm.

"You're only a first year?!" She began to cackle. "That makes you my underclassman, Naruto-kohai!"

Naruto made a face. He didn't really care about this school he was in or how it ran, but he knew when an insult was made.

"I ain't gonna call you 'Yukari-sempai' if that's what you're hoping." He looked back at her with a light-hearted glare. "And besides…what are you…? Like, six or something?"

A raging gravestone landed on the blond.

"I'm TWELVE YEARS OLD!"

"Ehh…doesn't really matter to me," he grumbled, shaking off the blood and rubble from his head. He tuned the furious girl's rant out, listening to the three other women and their conversation.

"Don't think this contest is over just because that new guy decided to join us, Moka. The battle will never be over till I win!" Kurumu declared with boosting confidence.

"Don't get too confident, Kurumu! I'm going to get the durian first!" Moka said back.

"You both should watch your backs, Moka, Kurumu," Mizore muttered, slipping her lollipop out of her mouth. "If anyone is going to win this contest, it's me."

"Contest?" Naruto questioned, the three turned to him. "What contest? Can I join?"

Tsukune looked mortified, not that anyone could blame him.

"Uh… You r-really shouldn't N-Naruto," Moka stuttered with sweat on her brow. Naruto continued his look of ignorance.

"Eh?"

"Of course you can't join!" Kurumu continued for Moka. "I don't care whatever your sexuality is you—"

"What the hell does my sexuality hafta do with anything?" A thought popped in his head. "Oh… Oh! You girls wouldn't be…you know…?"

An icicle found itself wedge into the blond's skull.

"We aren't. You on the other hand…we have no idea." Mizore slipped her hands back into her long sleeves.

"I still don't understand," Naruto said, pulling out the ice, unfazed as red liquid continued to trail down his face.

"Naruto-kohai, I think you should join in our little contest!" Yukari cheered, pulling on the blonde's arm. She turned to Moka and Tsukune. "Just think about it, Tsukune, Moka! Another handsome male…he'd even out…" She trailed off blushing and drooling. Naruto gulped, he knew that expression quite well.

"You're a pervy little girl, aren't cha?" A tree branch hit his head. "That's _really_ starting to bug me."

"Coming from a pervy guy like you, it seems pretty ironic." Kurumu said with a strained expression.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto growled out. The blue-haired beauty stopped in her tracks and glared at him.

"That goofy, care-free smile; those closed eyes…that red headband!" Kurumu looked back at her friends then Naruto. "He may not have the same Osaka accent, but he still talks like a yankee! He's a blonde Gin-sempai!"

_A short temper and a loud mouth…what a bad combination; though, her short height does compliment the size of her breasts._

"Pervert's probably thinking of my breasts right now!"

"Am not!" he gawked.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too, and you know it!" Kurumu finished, crossing her arms ove-…under her chest. Naruto snorted.

"Tch! As if. My gramma has bigger and firmer breasts; and they don't sag half as much as yours do!" he declared, proudly puffing up, feeling as if he won the battle.

"G-Grandma?!!" she screamed out, grinding her teeth as a dark purple aura surrounded her, Kurumu drew back her sharpened nails. "Y…You!!"

"C-C-Claws…?!"

The sound of slicing flesh rang throughout the forest. Kurumu didn't hesitate as she began moving forward, leaving a bleeding Naruto rolling on the ground.

--

"You really shouldn't have said that, Naruto," Tsukune said, wincing.

"Ya think? O-ow!" Naruto complained for the tenth time. He really, really did not expect the girl to have the ability to grow her nails…and sharpen them. His face may have quickly regenerated, but the pain was still fresh. "It's hurts to talk…"

"Then stop talking," Kurumu snapped; the blond shut his mouth, glaring at the busty girl.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kohai! She's mean to everyone," Yukari said sympathetically before she was too silenced with a death-promising glare.

Discouraged by the lack of monster fruit the group came to a stop, resting underneath a bushel of trees. The whiskered youth played with the single lock of hair between his eyes as he chuckled at the comical scene of the four girls fighting over whom would sit beside Tsukune. He just knew the perverted sage would KILL for an experience like this.

"We've been walking through the forest for so long now and we haven't seen a durian once!" Moka sighed. "At this rate no one is going to win the contest!"

Tsukune brightened up significantly.

"It doesn't shouldn't really matter, that monster durian thing didn't look so good anyway! I mean, just look around; there's grapes and apples, don't you want to eat that, instead?" Tsukune practically sang. All the girls shook their heads in synch.

"Eating monster durian…with Tsukune is all I want," Mizore softly announced with a blush. The other girls turned bright pink at the thought. Naruto gagged.

"That was no fruit! That was fu—"

"Naruto! There's a child here!" Moka warned with a look.

"—ckin' animal! It was BLEEDING and MOVING!"

"That's the best part of it," Mizore uttered with a suspicious look. "You can kill it, eat it and feel no remorse."

"I don't understand any of you," Naruto fussed as he reached up towards the tree's branches and grabbing a single ripe apple. He studied it before tossing into a tree, smashing into pieces. "Bad apple," he grunted out.

"What was wrong with it?" Moka asked.

"It had teeth and eyes."

"Ah."

--

"You know…" Mizore said; lowering her voice so only her friends could hear. "Doesn't that Naruto guy just make you wonder what kind of monster he is?"

Beside her, Kurumu huffed.

"Should it matter? He's blond, a pervert, and wears a red headband, what's there to wonder about?"

"He has whiskers," Mizore said, looking back the blond ignoring them as he began picking at an unfortunate demonic apple in the eye.

"So? Lots of people at school have whiskers," reasoned the succubus. "He's probably a monster cat, you know…a bakeneko!"

"Nekonome-sensei did look quite friendly with him," agreed Moka. "And she's a sort of cat creature."

"But don't you remember? He didn't like the durian; in fact, he was terrified of it!" Yukari disputed. "Sensei ate it whole when she disbanded us!"

"Maybe he likes fish, not fruit?"

"Sensei ate the fruit, and she LOVES fish!"

"A catfish demon, maybe?"

"No…he'd have big, fishy lips."

"Maybe…maybe he's not a cat! He saved Yukari at night, right?" The group nodded at Moka. "He's probably an okuri-inu! You know; the dog-like creatures that follow people at night!"

"He…he also ran towards the light that signals Moka-san's vampire transformation!" Yukari said, propping up.

"He did?!" Moka gasped.

"Yeah, but he said he got lost in the forest and was attacked by bushes."

"Oh."

"I still don't think he's a dog or a cat," Mizore spoke with a determined tone. "His name…Uzumaki Naruto, whirlpool and maelstrom are both related to water."

"So, what do you think he is, Mizore?" Kurumu pressed on with an impatient tone.

"He… He must be some sort of otter! The infamous albino kusa-uso!"

Tsukune paid no attention to the girls and their further ranting on how being blond did or did not count as indication of albinism; instead, he watched as Naruto smashed his face in to the rough bark of his apple tree.

--

_A-A 'supernatural albino river otter', the hell?!_ Naruto thought as he pulled his head back from the tree. _What's the hell's an 'albino'?_

There were only a few times when Naruto had ever felt so utterly embarrassed. The girl's discussion had proven funny at first, a bit discouraging after being called a monster…but then heartbreaking. No one had ever compared him to such creatures ever before; regular people would say he had a foxy sort of face, not that of a catfish! No, no, it just couldn't be a group of senile old ladies bickering at one another; it had to be three hot chicks and a child. It was pure humiliation.

He slammed his head into the wood once more with such intense ferocity; it caused the entire tree to shake. Dozens of evil apples fell off, many of which that hit the hapless blond. He looked down as an angered apple began biting his shoe in a futile attempt to kill him. Deadpanned, Naruto kicked the tree with his apple connected foot, killing it in the process. Bringing his foot back, Naruto heard rustling up above in the tree. Just as he looked up a spiky objected met his face.

"Ow," Naruto moaned. He removed it and held it within his two hands. A monster durian it was. Opening one of its many mouths, it coughed; Naruto smelled its horribly rancid breath. "NASTEH!" he shrieked, throwing hastily it over his head.

His ears met a light gasp. Turning around he saw a surprised and pleased Moka jumped up with the durian in hand.

"I've got the monster durian!!" she squealed in delight. "I won, I won!!"

"YOU IDIOT! Why the hell didn't you throw it to me?!" Kurumu cried as she trapped Naruto in an arm-lock, enabling Mizore to punch his defenseless stomach with her ice covered fists. "Why, why, why, WHY, WHY?!!"

"It was-GURK-on accident!" Naruto cried as blood shot out of mouth.

"W-Wait! What's it d-d-doing?!" Moka asked as she felt its slimy tongues wrap around her body. "It's getting into my unifo—"

There was abnormally high-pitched scream.

Naruto watched in horror as Moka fell to the ground unconscious, dropping the durian. Just as he processed what he had just witnessed, instinctively, he fell back as blood shot out of his nose.

_T-Tentacle rape… _

He fainted.

--

"Naruto-kohai! Naruto-kohai! Wake up!" Yukari ushered as she shook the stirring blonde. His eyelids flickered before revealing all of his sky blue pupils. Grabbing Yukari's hand, he lifted himself off of his back and onto his feet.

"What's happened?" he asked, noting the frantic expression on the young girl's face. He looked around, purposely avoiding Moka's face. "Where're Tsukune and Kurumu?"

"Kurumu went after the monster durian with Tsukune in hand!" Moka said, worried. Naruto shrugged, probably a harem girl thing.

"So? What's so wrong about that?"

"Kurumu. Tsukune. Dangerous forest. Alone," Mizore spelled out for him, slowly. The blonde made a face.

"I ain't stupid!" Naruto shot back.

"You threw the durian to Moka and in my book, that's sort of stupid," Mizore grumbled, giving Naruto a skeptical look. He huffed; it was totally a harem girl thing.

"It ain't like that thing was harmless! It fucking coughed on m—!"

"That's it! 'Harmless'! It isn't harmless at all!" Yukari screamed, surprising the others.

Moka turned to the girl with a confused expression.

"What exactly do you mean, Yukari?" she asked.

"The meat-eating monster durian! It's entirely dangerous! We have to go after them! Tsukune and Kurumu are in danger!"

"Why in the world would Nekonome-sensei send us out fruit hunting for something as dangerous as this?" Mizore wondered as a disturbed thought came to her. "You don't think she knew this all along do you?"

"That doesn't matter now, only things important are Tsukune and Kurumu!" Yukari declared waving her wand high in the air.

As if set off by some sort of signal, Naruto slipped his right arm over Moka's waist and his other over Mizore's. Much to their, including his, embarrassment, he fell on to one knee, dragging them both down. Despite how awesomely soft and slim they were, Naruto knew this was no time for games. He gave Yukari a serious look hoping his dopey grin was no where in sight.

"H-hey!"

"Hand's OFF!"

"C'mon, c'mon, Yukari! The faster we find 'em, the better!" The girl nodded and wrapped her arms around the blonde\'s neck. Rising up, he raced off in hope of finding the boy and his busty companion.

"Wrong way! Wrong way!"

"Kurumu ran off the other way!"

"Oops."

Mizore slapped her forehead in exasperation, at this rate they'd never get to Tsukune in time.

--

"There! I can see 'em!" Naruto grunted as he came to a stop, dropping the girls in an unintentionally rude way; there was no way he could think strait while being so close to such cute girls. He watched as Kurumu conversed with Tsukune with the monster durian in hand, a wicked smile began to grow on its prickly surface.

"—that's why I didn't want everyone else here… So it'd just be me and Tsukune eating together," she finished with a genuine blush. It would've been a tear-jerking moment if the ground didn't start to quake.

Naruto held back a gasp as dozens of large teeth emerged out of the ground, surrounding the blue-haired girl; he only had one shot at this! He jumped out, disappearing from the three females.

"N-Naruto?!" Yukari yelled as he vanished from plain view.

"**KURUMU**!" Tsukune screamed as the giant plant beast rose, quickly shutting its mouth. He yelped as a giant vine threw him off into one of the distant trees.

"Tsukune!" Moka raced up to the injured boy. "Are you hurt?!" Tsukune shook his head, wincing.

"Kurumu…! S-She's—"

"She's fine!" Mizore interrupted, pointing up towards the massive creature. "Look there!"

They looked up to see Naruto holding a shocked Kurumu in both his arms while performing a perfect split, restraining the creature's sharp teeth from ripping him in half. He gave the gaping beauty in his arms a strained smile.

"Dammit…" He swore. "I was one lousy second off…it's always that one second!" The blond sucked in desperate gulps of air, his legs buckled as the monster tightened its jaw. A large, rough substance wrapped around one of his legs and around his upper torso. He looked down. "TENTACLE RAPE!" he screeched in terror.

He tossed the blue haired girl out of his arms just as the monster's vine-like tongue pulled him inside its mouth. Kurumu landed roughly on the ground as her friends came rushing towards her.

"What was that?" the succubus said shaking. "Why would he just…?!"

"That's the monster durians true form!" Yukari called out, misinterpreting the girl. "It's what creates its bait, the actual fruit, to lure people into its trap, just as a deep sea anglerfish does with its light!"

"Naruto!" Tsukune bellowed. "Don't worry we'll ge—" He stopped as the plant began to expand and stretch out.

The plant fiend could only take so much…it exploded.

--

"Geeze…it's all getting too nostalgic!" The blonde pursed his lips, thrusting his fingers out in a familiar position.

--

The newspaper club could only gape as they saw a dozen copies of their new blonde friend; the shock was short lived for Mizore, she instantly remembered she could do the same technique. Though, it was pretty obvious Naruto wasn't a yuki-onna…or a woman at that.

Each Naruto posed extravagantly with the same cocky expression that screamed, 'totally not otter.' Sadly, the green goop from their recently killed enemy was sticking to their clothes, killing the badass image.

"W-Wow!" Tsukune chocked out. Yukari jumped up and down.

"Now! Now I know what Naruto-kohai is for sure!" Each Naruto puffed out their chest. Finally these idiots would acknowledge him for what he really was. "The way he moved so fast, the way he carried us all so easily, the way he made all those clones, and his bright yellow hair!"

_What did my hair have to do with being a ninja?_

"He's a monkey!" Mizore finished for the girl.

"Like Son Goku?" Tsukune asked.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

--

_(The mindscape of Naruto, the Newspaper Club, and each of his clones)_

_A yellow fur-covered Naruto dressed in orange, ancient Chinese clothing smashed a golden rod in his opponent's face._

_"Ha-hah! Take that, douche!"_

_The monk, the pig in armor, the large warrior, and the horse shook their heads as they stood out in the sidelines. _

_"Isn't that a bit much, Sun Wu Kong?" asked the monk.  
_

_"Fuck you, bitch!"_

_The monk sighed and bought his hands up in prayer. The monkey flinched.  
_

--

Each clone died of embarrassment, leaving with only a puff of smoke. The original, however, fell to the ground crying. Through a broken heart and two raging waterfalls of tears, he blubbered out:

"I'M NOT A GODDAMN **MONKEY**!"

--

Naruto glared at the durian slice he was given, even if it resembled a melon from here it smelled horrible up close. He looked up to see Kurumu suddenly look back at her own slice, he ignored it with a mild shrug. The other girls just devoured their own pieces, causing him to shiver. Looking to his right, Naruto saw Tsukune close to tears as he studied the fruit.

"I hate vegetables!" Naruto shouted, slamming his plate on a table nearby. Yukari looked at him funny.

"…It's a fruit."

"I don't care!"

Moka covered her mouth with her slim hand as she giggled at them both. Naruto continued to frown with a stubborn look.

"I wasted so much energy in rescuing you guys for THIS?" He whined, motioning to the large box of rumbling durians. He pushed his lower lip out. "I won the contest fair and square and I didn't even get anything!"

"Who ever got the durian first would be able to eat the fruit alone with Tsukune, in a lovers' conversation," Mizore said, licking the blood of her lips.

"That's the stupidest…!" Naruto trailed off grumbling illogically. "I got so many of the damn things and nobody even thank—"

One of the students passed by interrupting his rant and gave Naruto a friendly slap on the back.

"Thanks fer getting all these monster durians for us, Uzumaki! They're awesome!"

Naruto became silent and lowered his shoulders.

"I hate school."

--

--

--

I liked this chapter. If you met someone who has never heard of NARUTO, preferably an old person, they'd say Naruto looks like a cat or something. More of a feline than a fox. You know it and I know it. Son Goku isn't a reference to Drangonball, it's leaning more onto the Journey to the West side, Son Goku is what the Japanese call Son Wukong, the Monkey King. Kudos to those who knew that…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario + Vampire

Sorry for the delay, I put most my attention with my school work this past month, sorry 'bout that. Thanks for the reviews, favorites, alerts, and so on. I really appreciate the time you guys actually take reading this fic… Just think about it! A single chapter could take you around five minutes to read; five minutes you will NEVER get back…it's deep.

Eh. Stoner moment.

--

--

--

Each time his foot met the ground, Naruto found himself wincing. Even as the sun shined down on the grounds of Youkai Academy, Naruto still found the place to frightening. Today was the day…the day he would officially start his status as a student; the status he would accept with great shame. He had already spent six years in ninja academy, wasn't that enough? Already was he sure this school would be nothing like the academy back home, he doubted the chances of learning how to kill an average man with common household items; not that he cared. School was school and would forever be school; boring, long, and confusing.

Naruto looked to his right and his left to see the other students walk by him towards the school gates, some matured and others young, chattering to each other. The blond couldn't figure out how they could be so happy knowing that they had to attend this school. They looked so careless. Did they acknowledge the fact one day in this school could easily be their last all together?

Non ninja folk were so stupid.

"HIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"

He was thrown out of his thoughts as he watched the boy he met yesterday, Tsukune, fly right pass him. Naruto continued to watch as the young man run, before lazily jumping over a large four-legged beast. A hairy thing it was; with bull like horns and sharpened rows of teeth. Whatever it was, it seemed terribly famished for the hapless brunet.

"UWAAAA!" it roared, racing after 2nd year.

Looking around, he saw the other students wave it off easily. If they weren't jumping in to help Tsukune, it surely had to be a common occurrence, right? Naruto shrugged, it really wasn't his problem; Tsukune would just have to endure it. The older boy had gone to this school last year, so shouldn't he already be able to deal with a problem like this himself?

With a click of his tongue he began to sprint towards the academy, passing the bleeding Tsukune and his pursuer latched on his back, happily chewing the boy's head. Through teary eyes, Tsukune reached out towards the blonde. Naruto stopped.

"N-Naruto! Help me…!" he bawled, the pitch of his voice changing with each nibble his skull received. "Please!"

Naruto shrugged and continued forward.

"Sorry, I don't sorta don't wanna be late today," he said before vanishing from the brunet's blurry vision.

"NARUTOOOOO!"

Tsukune fell to his knees.

--

"A-Ahem!" A large portly man coughed into the microphone, the screeching noise echoed throughout the full building. The chatter instantly quieted.

Naruto quickly slouched in his own chair and moaned. Here it came, the long unneeded speech that required all the students to sit on the same uncomfortable metal chair for the next hour. The blond sighed, memories of the first day in ninja academy flooded back to him. He too was giving the same boring speech, though, it all ended with fireworks and screaming children. He gave a soft smile. It had taken him all night to plant those small sparklers under everyone's seat…he personally picked out the larger, orange one for the Hokage's chair.

_Yeah…the orange went pretty well with the flames that came from his coat, _he thought, scratching his head. _I thought he'd avoid the sparkler in time…_

His smile faltered as he felt the eyes of the huge person next to him latched onto his form.

"Ladies and gentlemen, new first year students, welcome to Youkai Academy!" The man paused just in time as many exuberant students in the back began to cheer and holler, many other students booed, Naruto was one of them. "Now, now! Save that for class, children, I'm only here to welcome you," the man said with a comical tone.

"Sounds like a plan…eh?" the large, bald boy beside the blond joked; a distinct accent in his voice. A gigantic male he was, with reddish skin and pitch black eyes. Naruto shrugged good-naturedly in return.

"I guess," he said, turning back to the stage. Naruto edged to the other side of his chair as the male continued to stare at him, smiling. He swore under his breath, wishing the boy would turn around. "Could you turn around…PLEASE?"

"…Okay," the boy whispered, his smile still wide and teeth still showing. He didn't bother turning his head towards the stage; his broad, black eyes staring down the blond's blue. "You have nice hair…"

Turning away, Naruto began to berate himself for choosing the seat he was in. Why didn't he choose the other seat in the far right corner? He looked over his shoulder. Oh, that's right. That nice girl with the tongue on the back of her head sat over there. Naruto turned his head back towards the stage.

"As you all already know a barrier has been placed around this school, a school for demons, monsters and any other creature alike. As we remain hidden and separated from humans, you all must learn how to coexist with them. Like or not, none of you have a choice." He paused, waiting for the jeers and boos to settle down.

"Why can't we just eat 'em all up…like we all did back in the day?! It ain't like they're gonna stop us!" one rebellious teen shouted out from the audience, his voice echoing off the walls of the auditorium. A few other teens rose up out of their seats, approving of the first's cry.

The heavy man rolled his eyes from the stage.

"Unfortunately, the earth has already been taken under control the humans… Why, you ask? Because we, monsters of the world, were too busy trying to 'EAT 'EM ALL UP,'" the man mocked. The teen reluctantly sat back down as his mood had been swiftly killed. "In order for us non-humans to survive, we have no choice but to continue life peacefully with the humans. At this academy, Youkai Academy, you will be studying on how to coexist with the humans until you graduate. Try to eat 'em up afterwards and you'll be thrown in jail."

Naruto had been sitting up properly throughout the man's speech; it was a mind blowing discovery to the young ninja. Youkai Academy was a school for monsters and demons so they can actually learn how to live peacefully with humans. His mind was racing. He had a hunch that the students were strange, but not to this level. Demons, he was going to spend time going to school with demons. Demons. Actual living monsters learning how to be like him, a human. Noble as it all seemed, the fact that many of them still wouldn't mind feeing on him made Naruto shiver. He gulped at a sudden thought… How many people had he met who were actually demons?

Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the smiling behemoth beside him…

_Ugg…he probably wouldn't mind eating me, the creep._

"For the remainder of your stay here in Youkai Academy you all will have to remain in human form, and for those who skills are still lacking, don't worry, this is exactly what school is for. Please, ladies and gentlemen, obey the rules and have an enjoyable stay! Good day." The man left, disappearing into the stage curtains.

Naruto watched as dozens of teenagers rose out of the seats and hastily headed towards the exit. He too got up and hastily followed the masses, leaving the creepy boy behind.

_Okay, Uzumaki you can do this! They look like humans and are tryin' to be humans, so there ain't nothing to be worried about! You're human, so it's all cool, right?_ His shoulders slumped. _As long as you don't fuck up. _

Finally walking out of the building, he pulled out a single piece of paper out of his pocket, a schedule it was…he had found it earlier slipped under his door just this morning. Before reading it he was shoved to the side, hitting the cement wall of the building.

"Oof!" he grunted out, his back sore from contact with the wall. What kind of exact person would have such intense strength to push him in such a way?

Naruto looked to up to see a short girl with orangey-red hair facing him, her large cyan eyes meeting his own for only a light second. Her peach-like face donned an expression of light surprised and embarrassment as she looked at the blonde boy. An image of Moka's own beautiful face seemed to appear quickly in his head before disappearing.

"Sorry," she muttered softly before nimbly moving forward.

_There's_ _no way!_ _She's so small and tiny! _He thought in despair. _I'm I getting so weak, little girls can over power me?! _

He watched as she 'accidentally' pushed a male three times his own mass into a tree meters away from them both.

Instead of further questioning his own might, Naruto studied his small slip of paper again.

_Okay! Room 17; first period teacher, Natsume Kyuusaku… _

He continued his trek through the crowd of students.

--

"Heh…you all don't really look like first years now do ya? Welcome to Youkai Academy, everyone. For the rest of the year I will be your homeroom and science teacher, Natsume Kyuusaku."

Naruto studied his new teacher from his desk by the window; he had brown shaggy hair, donning a lab coat and wearing glasses atop his head; a cigarette hung out of his mouth. Natsume-sensei didn't seem too young or too old; the guy was probably in his early thirties or something. Naruto noted the air of steadiness and intellect that seemed to hang around the man.

"Just as you were all told during the opening ceremony, you all will stay in human form for the rest of your stay," he said while writing his name on the board. "Though, I think something important was missing during the speech…" Natsume paused, scratching the stubble on his chin.

Naruto placed his hand under his head and continued to stare out the window, looking at his own reflection fondly. His eyes traveled over the glass, studying all the other students in front and behind him. His eyes widened. It was the creepy guy again, sitting right behind him! How did he not notice that smiling behemoth before?

He looked to a familiar shade of red a few seats in front of him. Naruto groaned quietly, it was the petite girl with the questionable strength. Not only is the comfort level dropping, his self esteem levels seemed to drop significantly. Wasn't this day looking bad enough already?

"Ah, yes! Now I remember!" Natsume turned to the class with a victorious smile, smacking his fist into a flattened palm. "Throughout the year, as you stay in your human form, none of you are permitted to tell anyone your true form!"

"Why is that, Natsume-sensei?" one girl from asked with a risen hand. He turned to her with a lazy smile.

"Ah, but you all should know of the strained relationships we monsters have with each other! It isn't just humans and monsters; in fact, we can't even stand the sight of each other!" He pulled out a large map and placed it atop the chalk board, pointing to a large mass of land, he continued. "Just look here, onto Europe. Haven't any of you heard of the rumored battles of hate between the werewolves and the vampires? Rumors they may be, but we all know of the tension they have with each other!"

Many of the students gave a nod or two. It did make sense now that he explained it. No one wanted to deal with the opposing demon of their race, minus the few more courageous and brash ones. But for whatever reason, the red-headed girl in front looked quite peeved for a second.

Naruto watched the man rant on with interest, he had never heard of such things, nor had he ever seen such a peculiar map. It looked nothing like the map he or his fellow shinobi used. He didn't see the Land of Fire anywhere or the Land of Wind. Though, he thought as he puffed up with pride, Konohagakure wasn't a hidden village for nothing.

"Hah…" Natsume sighed, pulling out the attendance roster. "Now that that's out of the way, I'm going to go on with attendance, m'kay? Just yell out 'here' when I call on you, kids. First on the list… Asakura Junko?"

"Here!"

"Atashi Rei?"

"Here."

The whiskered shinobi paid no further attention to Natsume as he continued on with the list of students, instead, he made an effort not to turn around and punch the sinister looking bastard behind him. He was wheezing so loudly that Naruto could feel his hot breath hitting the back of his neck.

_Disgusting, no mannered, weird sonovabitch!_ Naruto shook in suppressed anger. _When sensei turns around, you'll regret bothering Uzumaki Naru—_

"Uzumaki Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes shot up, as did his hand.

"Uzumaki Naruto is right over here, sensei," he said exuberantly.

"Funny… Though, 'here' suffices just as well. Now, did I miss anyone?" Natsume asked with a smirk. He stopped and turned to Naruto's direction. "Ah yes, you. What's your name?"

Seeing sensei's gaze, Naruto eyes wandered around him; he could tell Natsume wasn't looking at him, no, he was looking at the person behind. He turned to see the red skinned boy raise his hand, but began to regret his decision as the boy stared right back at him.

"Taijut Chuloon is my name, sensei," the smiling youth wheezed out, his eyes never leaving the blonde.

"Ugh…that would be Taijuto Churun, right?" muttered Natsume as he read the roster again. "You're…not on the list. What might you're schedule say?"

"Room 37; first period, Miezaki Miyo," Churun said with a never ending grin.

"Yeah… You're definitely not supposed to be here. Room 37…ain't that for the third year students, now?" Natsume asked causally. He opened the door and turned to the large boy. "Out you go now, Miezaki-sensei's probably gonna be pissed."

Pushing himself up on both of his legs, the smiling boy walked passed Naruto, shooting him a sharp and toothy smirk.

"It was nice meeting you…Naruto," sang Churun.

Underneath his desk, Naruto's hands clawed at the sides of his pants, hiding his discomfort from the rest of his class. If only he had paid closer to his surrounding, the bastard wouldn't have been able to follow him, learned his name or where he would spend the rest of his school days! He grimaced at the retreating form of his new stalker. Somehow, it had felt as if a challenge had been laid. He snorted, intimidating as the boy was he would be no match for him, Uzumaki Naruto.

"Well, with that over… Let's take a pop quiz shall we?" he chirped as he closed the door shut, erupting jeers from his young students. "Now, now! It's only a review! The lot of you should know most of this already! It's all fairly simply!"

Naruto looked down at the sheet of paper passed onto him. It was just a little quiz, right? Should be easy, seeing how he was already human…

_1. Multi-cellular eukaryotes that are usually mobile and obtain food from other organisms probably belonging to the kingdom—what the…?_

From the back of his throat, he gave a whimper.

--

Naruto sighed tiredly as he walked through school grounds aimlessly; just as he predicted, school was boring. Though, he found it was cut early to let all the other first years to settle down at the school dorms. Seeing as he already had all his things in place he might well just run around campus, maybe even bother Tsukune and the others… Would Tsukune keep a grudge after this morning? Did he even seem like the sort of guy to do so?

Naruto stopped, as he heard rustling of grass behind him. His senses tingled as he saw a figure coming closer. He quickly jumped up onto a tree branch and hid behind a mass of tree leaves. His eyes narrowed, it was that one guy…Churun or whatever his name was that came out into the opening.

_The bastard…even now he's still smiling! Maybe I should just go and… _

"Na-Ru-To, come out and play!" Churun sang, his voice much like a harsh and sandy whisper. "I know you're out there! C'mon, c'mon! I'm waiting!"

Naruto stayed quiet.

_Creepy bastard…_ He thought, letting himself snort.

Churun's smile instantly widened, his chest pumping up and down, his breathing becoming louder and louder; taking a deep breath, his chest was pushing out into the air. Naruto watched as Churun took a step back and faced his direction and opened his mouth, Churun spat out a huge quantity of spit towards the blond. Naruto shot out of the branch and landed softly onto the dirt floor, causing the older boy to give a toothy grin.

"Ah-ha! So you finally decided to come out, eh, Naruto?"

Naruto snarled back at Churun.

"The hell is your problem?! You've been me stalking all day! Then you decide to shoot loogy at me…!" Naruto turned back to the tree, his eyes widened. The spit had changed the leaves and bark to melted, yellow mush. "A-Acid?!"

The boy chuckled.

"A special acid actually…the type only my breed of monster can produce," he paused, his large black eyes traveling up towards Naruto's blond head. "Yellow hair…you have such a nice shade of yellow. Did you know that, Naruto? It's quite lovely…"

"My hair…?" Naruto asked, a free hand shakily running through his hair. "The hell is your problem?"

Churun ignored him, nodding excitingly to himself as his body began to shake.

"You see, Naruto; my race has always had a sort of…fascination with the color yellow. It isn't our fault, really; it's in our very nature to come at anything yellow," he slobbered, drool fell of off his chin onto the dirt ground. At an instant the spit covered ground turned yellow.

Naruto stifled a squirm as he heard the hissing of the acid hitting the ground below. He couldn't embarrass himself any longer in front of an opponent that's pissed him off so much; the guy would get what he came for, one hell of a beating.

"Just try and 'come at me', bastard!" Naruto crouched low, in a readied and relaxed position towards the large brute. "I'll teach you exactly what happens when you try and mess with me!"

Churun said nothing back; he only continued to smile back. Naruto grimaced. Why was it him who always had to fight the weirdoes?

As he was lost in thought, Naruto could only dodge a shot of acid so quickly. He jumped to the left, then on to the right, and then back flipped to avoid a barrage of saliva. The shinobi hopped onto a branch to distance himself even more from the red-skinned brute. Perhaps a good kick or two would be enough for the odd boy; monster or no monster, Naruto knew how strong he was and how bad he could damage a single person by physical means.

He studied Churun again; his skin was getting redder by each passing second; his body shaking more and more violently. Churun's eyes shook wildly as he hunched over his knees, throwing up huge quantities of acid on the ground. Now Naruto didn't feel like beating him up, what honor was there in defeating an opponent with a handicap?

"What the…?!"

Naruto watched as Churun's body hit the ground and dissolve into the soil. The blond hastily jumped down onto the floor; did the acid backfire on its user? There was no way Churun could've been that stupid…right?

Naruto stepped forward to the puddle of yellow acid on the ground and looked over the heated steam; his eyes widened.

_The bastard didn't dissolve! He dug himself a—_

Naruto dived out of the way just in time to avoid a large ring of teeth. Rolling back on his feet Naruto looked up, surprised to not see the large red-skinned boy; instead, he was stared down by a gigantic red worm twice his size in length and width. Its large black eye seemed to carry that same mocking air Churun did; and even with a mouth of a circle it seemed to smile at him the same way. Naruto hissed out in anger. It WAS Churun.

"What are you?!" Naruto roared back to the worm. It made a heavy wheezing sound that resembled that of laughter.

"I shouldn't be surprised, it's only natural to act in such a way in the face of danger, eh, Naruto-kun?" said Churun, his voice incredibly deep. "Though, must applaud your performance. I've never faced anyone so…nimbly. I can't wait to see how you taste after I turn your flesh yellow. Maybe—no, I don't think you'll taste as good as those humans back in the Gobi desert…quite sweet, actually. Though, you ARE a monster after all…maybe a teensy bit sour?"

Naruto glared steadily at his opponent, the worm was practically talking to himself rather to the blonde.

"You didn't answer my question, bastard!" Naruto shot his finger out at the worm. "What are you?"

The worm stopped his bickering and fully faced Naruto. The teeth in his mouth seemed to glitter.

"Me, you ask? I am an Allghoi Khorkhoi."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

There was a long, tense silence between the two. Each one patiently waited for the other to respond.

"What?" Naruto finally choked out. Surprisingly, Churun seemed to still have the ability to roll his eyes in his true monster form.

"Accursed Japanese…" the worm murmured angrily.

_What's a 'Japanese'?_ Naruto thought to himself.

"Fine then! If you must be so oblivious; I am a Mongolian Death Worm!"

**Bite-Sized Monster Dictionary**

Mongolian Death Worms:

_Just as the name describes, Mongolian Death Worms inhabit the Southern Gobi Desert in Mongolia. These creatures are able to spray a sort of acid that causes death instantly to humans and some monsters alike. It is also claimed, but not confirmed, that these creatures have the ability to kill from a distance with some sort of super electrical charge that is emitted from the worm's tail. Yet, it's a known fact that the worms are extremely attracted to the color yellow. _

"What's a 'Mongolian'" the blond asked aloud.

Churun snarled before throwing his head far back before lashing forward at the boy.

"H-Hey! Isn't this against the rules!" Naruto shouted as he dodged a heap of acid shot his way. "We're not allowed to show off our true form like that! Natsume-sensei said so!"

The worm made a dive towards the ground, disappearing and reappearing under the blond. Naruto jumped right out of the way. Hissing the worm replied back.

"Y-You really are a naïve first year, eh, Naruto-kun?!" Churun panted, he missed the blond again and he could feel his energy slipping away fast. "Hardly anyone follows the rules at this s-school! H-H-Hardly anyone…"

The worm stopped on the ground lying down miserably. Naruto stopped, puzzled and annoyed at his enemy's sudden change in heart. The blond came up and lightly kicked the fleshy red side of Churun.

"You just stop after you made sucha an effort to stalk me and follow me?" Naruto grimed, kicking the worm again. "You freaked me out all day and even challenge me to fight you and all you do now is lay down? The hell is wrong with you, bastard?! Get the hell up so I can kick your ass and actually FEEL good about it!"

"S-So tired…can't mov—E!!"

Naruto dug his foot harder into the meat of the Death Worm's flesh, which he found surprisingly soft. He felt Churun's muscles tense up from the pain as he let out a shrill scream.

"NO! STOP! THAT—THAT HURTS!"

"That's the idea, fat ass. Now get up so I don't feel as bad when I beat you—!"

A sudden jolt of electricity traveled throughout the blond's nerves, causing him to fall right on his back in a spasm. The worm on the ground let out a wispy sigh of relief, he was close to tears from the pain in his side. Silently, he thanked his mother and father for bestowing him such an amazingly powerful tail. If the worm hadn't shocked the boy in time, he really would've cried. Churun rose up off the ground and looked down towards the blond. At least he would have his meal now—

POOF

"W-What the!?"

Churun gasped as he watched smoke rise from where his meal had been. What had happened? It was right there and… Through his ears, Churun heard a shrill whistle; he looked up to see a single falling shoe, only to look back down and hit the ground below. The last thing he saw was a smug blond looking down at his form before his vision turned totally black.

Naruto grinned happily. It was simple battle; using a single Shadow Clone had been more than enough to defeat the large red worm. Though; he looked down at the knock out monster; he wasted a bit too much energy on such a weak foe. At least he felt satisfied, the bastard really deserved the beating; the fact he actually got back up help the blond feel better about his victory.

"Heh, stupid sonovabitch," Naruto snorted contemptuously as he turned to walk away. Rubbing his nose he noted the unfamiliar area around him. "Where the hell am I now?!"

A single familiar-looking bush shook in response.

"Oh no, no, no! You can go fuck yourself you stupid bush!" Naruto screamed before he ran.

--

--

--

Yeah, it's short. Sorry, I didn't put as much effort as I should have; school has been a bit hectic… Okay, I'm lying; I'm just one lazy fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario + Vampire.

I know what you're thinking! Oh my dear god...an update! Finally, after all these wasted years!

--

--

--

It had only been a few minutes since his fight with the Mongolian Death Worm, Churun, and Naruto was still lost; but ignored it over deciding which type of ramen to eat tonight. To anyone else it would've been the stupidest thing to worry about seeing how he had just come fresh out of a fight; especially a fight that included an acid-spitting worm. Any other person would've gone through the effort of mending wounds and bruises; no, not Naruto, he had better things to do other than be concerned about injuries. It was none of his concern, he already healed.

"—Maybe not kimchi, I don't have that many left… I have a ton of miso left up in stock," he murmured to himself. "Though, I did wanna try that new soy sauce one. Man, this is gonna be hard to dec—"

Naruto stopped in his tracks, a faint but foul scent made its way across his nose. He crouched low, taking a few whiffs in the air before coughing. It resembled the monster durian's scent from yesterday. Twenty-four hours or not, the scent was still fresh to his nose. He shuddered. But, he noted, whatever was making that stench had to be close or incredibly strong.

"HEY!"

Naruto looked up.

"H-HEY! Is anybody there?!" a voice called out, a male by the sounds of it. Whoever the man was, he was far, but at the same time close to the blond. "Can ya hear me?!"

Naruto back sprang up on his knees, his head turning to and fro for the voice. One could already imagine he wasn't eager for another fight; but by the looks of it there were many people who wouldn't mind dirtying their hands with blood at this school. "Who, me?" he asked warily.

"No, I was talking to the guy next to you!" the man called out.

Surprised, Naruto turned around. "Huh…? I don't see anyone—"

"You **fucking** numb nut!!" the person screeched. Naruto flinch out of instinct, far or not, the guy was still incredibly loud. "Of course I was taking to you! Do you see anyone else around right now?! In fact, wouldja think I would see anyone right now?! I can't even see you! I CAN'T SEE! I'm over fucking here! AND THE FUCKING TREES ARE IN MY FUCKING WAY!"

The poor blond didn't find the yelling anymore helpful to him then that of the thick trees surrounding him. The first cry startled him enough; now, all the man's complaining just annoyed him.

"Well, no—"

"That's exactly right, you idiot! Now got offa your lazy ass and help me!" the person cried out.

Naruto turned towards a group of bushes, following the angry insults and the growing stench. Soon, he gasped; under a large tree, laid an injured redheaded boy, his arms clutching at his sides. There was a mess of blood around and on him; cuts were fresh on his skin and uniform.

The boy glared at Naruto.

"Well, guy, ain't cha gonna help me? I'm bleeding my ass off over here!" he snapped, raising an arm expectantly to Naruto.

Naruto kept his distance and sneered at his discovery.

"Why the hell should I help you? For all I know you'd just take the chance to eat me up or something," Naruto said while frowning. "It could all a trick for all I know."

The boy merely looked at Naruto before letting out a short, mocking laugh.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. Had he said something amusing? Did he say something with a deeper meaning to the other male? Naruto shook the questions away; it was guys like these that the blond had to look out for, messing with his head and all that.

"Suspicious, I see…I like the way you think, guy!" The boy stopped to let out an unsettling snicker. Naruto shuddered. "Shit like this does happen to other people, ya know. There're students who act like this and get away with eating others like youse. Happens every year."

"See! That's exactly why I shouldn't help someone like you!" Naruto exclaimed with his arm stretched out, towards the redhead.

The boy rolled his eyes.

"You really are slow aren't cha, guy? If I had the intent of eating you, would I tell you all of that…?"

"Yes!"

The boy nodded his head, "Exactly—wait, what…?"

Naruto puffed up with air, ignoring the harsh stench in the air and sight of blood; he also disregarded the fact the boy was getting paler and paler by the second. Intensifying his glare, he stated: "I know guys like you. You guys confuse the hell outta of your targets; it's what always happens! You go through the trouble of explaining what you're gonna do next, with me thinking I can trust you an' stuff! Then you go for the kill when I feel safe! I know how it goes! It's guys like you piss the hell out of me!"

"Bu—But…!" the boy's eyes widened, stuttering.

He was looking deathly pale now.

Naruto jumped back, blood was rushing through his veins. That last battle wasn't that fulfilling, maybe this next fight would be. It was the smart, sly guys that were the hardest to beat in battle, the blond ninja's experience with that type of enemy had proven it. He was ready; he would defeat this new opponent!

"Y-You're one dumb fuck…you know—ulp—that…?!"

Naruto watched as the boy struggled to get up back on his two feet; unfortunately, through this effort he tripped over a loose root, falling to the floor and was knocked unconscious. The blond waited patiently at his spot, thinking it was some sort of trick. Soon, an unpleasant thought washed over him, maybe the boy was telling the truth…

The blond grumbled, while rolling his eyes he grabbed the boy's arm; it was thin, unhealthily thin. Throwing the boy's arm over his shoulder, Naruto noted how amazingly light and tall the boy was; he must've been an entire head taller than the blond.

"Man, that smells getting even worse…" Naruto said, coughing. He stopped a moment and sniffed around following his nose towards the boy. He paused, his blue eyes trailing over the redhead's figure.

He groaned.

"Bastard pissed his pants!"

--

He couldn't help but feel dumb, that Naruto. Sitting on a lone bench inside the Hospital Annex, watching doctors and nurses walked past him. He waited for the doctor to emerge from the room and give him his input on the newest patient. He was surprised though, they weren't shocked or worried about the redhead's bloodied state; they were more or less annoyed. The blond raised his head towards the window; the sun was starting to go down, how much time had passed?

"Oh, Mr. Uzumaki, you're still here?" Naruto looked up; it was the old doctor looking down at him with an odd gaze. Closing the door behind him, he continued, "To see such action on your first day of school, quite tiring isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter; stuff like this happens to me often," Naruto sighed. He waited for the doctor to speak, but he did nothing. Anxious, he spoke again. "So, how is the guy? He's okay, right?"

The doctor shook his head. A feeling of dread grew within the blond.

"I-I'm sorry, Mr. Uzumaki."

Naruto drew in a sharp breath. "W-What?"

"He lost too much blood from his wounds, you were too late…" The doctor paused, removing his glasses from his wrinkled face. "If you arrived earlier with the boy he…he would've made it."

Naruto bowed his head low; for him to make a mistake like that, a stupid mistake like that…

"I…" Naruto trailed off, staring at the ground intently. The doctor patted his back before heading towards the door.

"You should see him, Mr. Uzumaki."

"B-But—" The doctor opened the door and gave him a hard slap on the back, pushing him inside. Naruto gaped, astonished by the old man.

"Make sure you apologize, he might just haunt you," said the doctor passively, slamming the door. Naruto flinched; that possibility seemed more likely with him in a school for monsters.

He turned and sighed; there across him laid the redheaded boy on one of the many beds. Naruto made his way towards a lone stool beside the boy. The blond sat down, letting his head fall on his hands, and stayed silent; berating himself again and again.

_If only I got here earlier, dammit! If only I hadn't been so damn suspicious! _

As his eyes were covered, his ears heard soft giggle.

_No…no way…that bastard wouldn't…! _

Another giggle erupted.

_The bastard did. _

Naruto snorted, raising his head to look at the boy again. The boy's face was pale, just as it was hours ago, complete with a faint mischievous expression. A smirk slowly appeared. Naruto jumped up out of his seat and shot his fist out at the boy's nose.

A sickening crunch, pleased the blond's ears.

"IIIIIIIYEEEEEE!!" the once 'dead' boy cried, his voice turned high and whiny like a little girl's; much to Naruto's displeasure and anger.

Naruto took no time to waste; he roughly grabbed the boy's collar and gave him another punch to the face.

"BASTARD!" He gave another punch.

"AHH-HAH!"

"Playing dead an' shit!" He gave another punch.

"EEHHHH!"

"What kind of sick BASTARD are YOU?!" He started to shake the red-head.

"AH-HA-HA-HA! S-ST-O-P! S-S-STO-P!! SO-SOM-EONE C-CALL THE NURRRRSE!"

--

After the nurses and doctors straightened them both out Naruto sat back down beside the redhead again, glaring while the opposite just smiled. Injured or not, Naruto wanted to wipe that smirk off the boy's face again. Was this how Sakura felt towards him when they were younger?

The bruised boy hummed to himself, ignoring Naruto's presence. Naruto's fist tightened.

No wonder Sakura thought he was annoying…

"Really, what kind of sick bastard are you…?" Naruto asked, glaring at the redhead. The boy only smiled.

"The best!" the redhead said from his bed. His mood had changed a lot since Naruto's encounter with him in the forest; though, he was still annoying to the whiskered youth. He didn't snap back as much, and only kept his cursing to a minimum; he kept his slanted eyes shut and didn't stop smiling either. "Sorry if I, ya know, scared ya. I thought it be funny!"

_Another weirdo_, Naruto thought.

"Hey, guy; you mind if I call you guy, guy?"

"My name is Naruto. Na-Ru-To! Not 'guy'," Naruto barked back.

The opposite male shrugged, "I'm still gonna call you guy. Naruto sounds complicated."

"Complicated?! It's only three syllables!!"

"See? It's three syllables; more than two, less than four, and an odd number at that. Complicated."

_This guy is more than annoying, he's…he's…troublesome! _

"I sound like Shikamaru…" Naruto moaned to himself. If things went on like this, Naruto was sure his stay at Youkai Academy would be even worse than he first imagined. Learning he had to go to a creepy school was bad at first, meeting a teacher who had a weird obsession with his face was terrifying, then learning most of the attractive girls at school were pretty much horrible monsters in disguise had an impact on him, now he had to deal with the most obnoxious guy he had ever met.

"Excuse me?"

"It's nothing."

"M'kay!" the boy chirped. Naruto lessened his glare at the grinning male, waiting for him to continue. "What? Somethin' on my face?"

"Hey! Hey! I told you my name; now, what's yours, bastard?" Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, you're right, guy! I forgot all about that. Sorry!" He paused, chuckling. "Name's Masao!"

"Masao…?"

"Yup."

"Y-You ass! That's three syllables too!! Ma-Sa-O"

"Naw, I think it's only two."

"WHAT?!"

"It's Ma-Sao.

"Ugh..."

"Jeeze guy, are ya stupid or something?"

Naruto couldn't help himself but grab Masao's collar and bring his fist back.

--

After the nurses and doctors straightened them both out _again_, this time they threatened to restrict Naruto from ever entering the hospital again. He didn't really care either way; he hated the hospital. Naruto sat back down beside the redhead's bed, making sure to keep his hands and feet to himself as Masao's face was black and blue. He apologized but Masao made sure to keep a small distance from the blond even as he was beside him.

"So…Masao…"

"Y-yeah, guy…?" Masao slurred out, trying to keep a smile on his battered face.

"How'd you get all those injuries?" Naruto asked lamely.

Masao opened his mouth.

"Not the ones I gave you, smart ass! The cuts and stuff back in the forest!"

Masao closed his mouth.

"Well…there was a guy…" he trailed off, his eyes wandering around the room. Naruto leaned forward.

"A guy?"

"Yeah, guy, a guy! He didn't look like a student, I think he was too old," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I was just strolling through woods looking for some first years to bother and when I found one, WHAM! Some guy comes outta nowhere spewing some nonsense at me—er—us!"

"Nonsense…?" Naruto echoed. Masao nodded.

"Yeah, nonsense! Like…uh…uh…" Masao stammered. Naruto rolled his eyes. "I forgot what he said…but then the bastard decided to stab me ta death with a knife! It was all just stab, stab, stab, stab! The other lil' bastard decided to run off, leaving me while the first bastard just went on stabbing and stabbing! I'll remember that little bastard's face…heh; he'll regret not helpin' a man in need the next time I see him!"

Naruto leaned back on his stool till he felt the cold railing of the bed behind him.

"What were you doing to that first year again…?" Naruto asked, pushing Masao on with his story.

"Ehh…it doesn't really matter…" he said, sweating. "But then when the first bastard got tired of stabbing me an' junk, he grabbed me by the legs and dragged me for a while, guy. It hurt like hell! I was bleeding all over the place and I didn't have any energy to revert back to my real form! The bastard wouldn't have gotten me if I transformed!"

Naruto slowly nodded, remembering that he was in fact talking to a monster for the past hour; he resisted the urge to shudder.

"What happened next, how'd you escape afterwards?"

Masao yawned before continuing, "Well…I still had some feeling in my leg, so I kick one of his hands away! The bastard started to cry as I went on kicking him while lying on the floor! He ran away leaving a trail of tears, which I preceded on drinkin—"

Naruto glared at him, raising a fist.

"Okay! Okay!" Masao rose his hands up defensively. "Jeeze, guy, I was having a bit a fun too… So the bastard heard a scream, he let my ankles go ran off somewhere. It…ahhh…went all like, 'No! Stop! That hurts!' Or somethin' like that… Sounded like rape er somethin'…"

Naruto nodded, laughing weakly; he didn't have to say it that way. They must've heard the screaming from his previous fight. Not that he could blame them, the worm screamed entirely too loud.

What a sissy.

"Sounded painful," Naruto said, turning towards a nearby window; it was dark out already. He rose up off of his stool, deciding he should leave.

Masao nodded and gave a weak smile. "You said it, guy. I really thought I was gonna die er something…"

"I know, you pissed your pants."

"S-SHUT UP!" he cried, his voice again changing to that of a whiny little girl. Noticing the change, Masao coughed. "Well, thanks for helping, guy…I think."

Naruto gave a strained smile. "Y-Yeah, sure…sorry for…you know…"

"Naw! It's all good, guy! Because of these wounds and the new ones ya gave me, I get to skip school tomorrow! Luckily, I get to go back in time for club activities, maybe early enough to look for some new members! Just think, guy, you might've even join my club!"

_Not in your life_, Naruto thought tiredly, rubbing his eyes. "I think I've stayed here too long, I'm bushed…"

The door slammed open, a young nurse came through the door pushing a mobile bed carrying an unfortunate patient. Naruto snorted, he recognized the guy; how couldn't he? There laid Churun in human form, pathetic and injured, avoiding eye contact with the smug blond. The nurse sighed.

"Really, Churun-san, almost all of your ribs are broken! And with all these injuries you have now…you'll be bedridden for—for weeks! Maybe even months! What happened?"

Churun's eyes dared to hit the blond; the Mongolian shivered.

Naruto drew a single finger across his neck.

"I tripped."

--

"Guess what kids?" Natsume-sensei sang as he dropped his stack of papers atop the front desk. He smiled brightly towards his class, waiting for a response from his class.

No one said anything, just as they should've seeing as most of them had just woken up from their dorm rooms. Naruto sat in his regular seat; happy to know no one was behind him staring at his golden hair like yesterday. That beat down he gave that Churun fellow felt more satisfying than it did when he kicked the blasted worm back down to earth. Naruto gave roguish smirk. If only he could've done the same thing to that 'Ma-Sao' guy…

"Mr. Uzumaki, I would appreciate it if you didn't chuckle like that while I'm speaking," Natsume-sensei said.

Naruto stopped daydreaming long enough to see that everyone in the class was staring at him, many with fear. He turned to the window besides him, ignoring the class.

"As I was saying…Congratulations! Only half the class failed! You all did quite better than I expected! Though, only one person aced it…that guy." The science teacher pointed to a short kid with white hair and glasses in the far right corner. Everyone turned, including Naruto, and glared. The kid quickly looked down on his desk, in hopes of ignoring the faces of his classmates.

One boy spoke up.

"All in favor off kicking his ass later, say 'aye'."

"Aye," said most of the class.

Natsume-sensei exhaled the smoke from his cigarette from his nostrils. As long as he was responsible for the damage he didn't care. He looked back to his papers and said to his class: "Anyways we'll start with an introduction to our first chapter…"

Naruto snorted, he could care less about science; his grades didn't matter now. As long as this school could separate him from the Akastuki he could care less.

_Though_, he thought, _I think fighting the Akatsuki is better than this…_

He placed his head atop the wooden desk and closed his eyes.

…

"And that concludes today's review! Next week we'll have a test on what we've gone over today, I expect you all to grasp the concept before than. Other than that, have a nice day!"

Naruto looked up. Was it was second period already? No, he saw his math teacher, not that he bothered to remember her name. It was the end of third period. That meant…it was lunch break! The bell rang, causing him to step out of his seat. Standing up he stretched his arms out and gave a loud yawn.

Shuffling noises and a cry made Naruto turn towards the door. Four of his classmates were dragging the white haired 'know-it-all' out of the classroom. The blond arched an eyebrow.

"Were you guys really serious about beating him up?" he asked them, stepping forward to leave the classroom. For some odd reason, they all flinched as they saw him.

"A-And what's it to you?" one boy stuttered with his hold tight on the shorter boy.

"Nothing," Naruto said passively. He really wished they'd hurry out the way; there was no way he'd just stay around in the same stuffy classroom for so many hours. He stepped forward, the flinched again. "Would you guys getta move on? I'm hungry!"

There were gasps from around the classroom. Startled, Naruto looked around to find small groups of students 'whispering' amongst themselves.

"D-Did you hear that?!"

"He wants to please his appetite…for flesh!"

_What?_

"No way! After what he did yesterday to that third-year?!"

"I heard he did it because of that third-year said something about his hair!"

_They can't be serious…_

"Y-You too? I heard he beat up another third-year and helped him to the hospital…so he could beat him up once again the guy was healed up!"

"The bastard!"

_What the hell?! I helped that guy! And nobody even saw me kick that guy's ass!_ Naruto thought, becoming more weird-ed out by the second. _Where are they getting this?_

"A second year said he used laser vision on one till he was blind!"

"I saw it happen! It was crazy!"

_What. The. Fuck._

"He must be one of the toughest students in school!"

Angry and disturbed, Naruto shoved the four boys out of the way and flew passed the door. Unknown to him, a petite redheaded girl stared after him, narrowing her eyes. Kokoa snorted to herself; as if the blond boy could stand a chance to her older sister, Moka, laser vision or no laser vision. She stopped glaring for a second to think again.

What would Moka do if he really did have laser vision?

Kokoa became worried. Uzumaki Naruto was proving to be a mystery to everyone in classroom 17.

--

"EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! THERE HAVE BEEN INTRUDERS THAT HAVE CROSSED THE BARRIER! ALL STUDENTS, IMMEDIATELY RETURN TO YOUR RESPECTED CLASSROOMS AND STAY ON GUARD! I REPEAT…"

"What's going on?"

"Intruders?"

"Why aren't the School Police doing anything? I thought they were pretty strong!"

"C'mon! You can't rely on the School Police!"

"I don't wanna go back to class!"

Naruto made no effort to get up. His lunch break wasn't even over with yet and already was he order to go back to his classroom. He snorted as the intercom continued to blast the announcement out. This school must've had lousy security; then again…Konoha had many intruders in past, incredibly strong intruders.

_Well…Orochimaru and the Sound nin were able to get in 'cause it was the Chunin Exams, almost anyone could get in_, Naruto thought with sweat on his brow. _Sasuke's brother and the fish guy…wasn't Itachi part of ANBU…? No duh, of course he could've sneaked in! _

All the other students passed the whiskered youth with little acknowledgment as he sat on the railing of the bottom stairs. He frowned; there were teachers starting to come out in the hallways, now he was probably going to have to go back to class. Some lunch break this was turning out to be.

Just a short distance from his person, little Yukari was wandering through the student filled hallways looking for her friends, hoping they weren't caught into any trouble dealing with the intruders she was recently informed of. She was so caught up thinking that she didn't notice the huge and terrifying male student coming her way.

"Move it, brat!" the male barked, shoving the girl roughly to the side.

"Kyaaah!"

Naruto snapped his head to the right and found himself getting angry. He hated guys like that; using their intimidating image to oppress others, 'bullies' he would call them. The youth slid off the railing and stomped over to the older boy.

"Who the hell doya think you are, hitting a little girl like that!?" Naruto snarled, stepping in front of Yukari.

"Naruto-kohai…?" Yukari murmured. She hadn't seen the boy in a while; she was surprised that he literally popped out of nowhere. A dreamy expression would've made its way on her face if she didn't realize how serious her current situation was.

"And what the hell does it matter to you, cat-boy—OOF?!" The large boy yelped as he felt a sharp tug on his jacket collar, bringing his face right in front of Naruto's. The boy shuddered. "W-Whaa…?!"

Naruto tried to make the closest expression he could to Yamato's own. Unknowingly to him, his face turned into an odd sneer, accompanied with odd shadows that should've been impossible to form with the hallway's lighting above and around him.

"Call me cat-boy again. I dare you."

"Wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh…?"

"Naruto-kohai!" Yukari chided, pulling on Naruto's free hand. "Put him down, we have more important things to be worried about!"

"Not now, Yukari," he said still glaring at his captive. "I ain't too eager about going back to class…"

"But…!"

"Nobody calls me 'cat-boy'! **Nobody**!"

Yukari rolled her eyes and tugged harder on his hand. "But it's about Tsukune, Moka and the others! They could be in danger!"

Naruto's expression faltered. Images of the beautiful three girls—especially the three beautiful girls—and Tsukune flashed through his mind. Who was he to abandon the troubled? He couldn't consider them friends even if they did act fair towards him it was far too earlier. And he desperately wanted to punch the blubbering behemoth in front of him. But, they didn't seem like the strong or speedy type seeing how he saved the Kurumu girl from being eaten by a monster plant.

The blond sighed as he released the large boy, allowing him to run off; not before screaming: "I'll remember this, cat-boy!"

Yukari almost lost her grip on the blond's arm as he tried to pull away from her in rage.

"LEMME GO! LEMME GO! LEMME GO! YOU'RE A LUCKY BASTARD, YOU HEAR ME?! LUCKY!!"

"Isn't that…Yukari?"

Yukari turned around to see Ruby looking at both Naruto and her, a puzzled expression on the woman's face. The girl smiled, finally! Someone she could depend on! Letting go of her hold on Naruto, she jumped and screamed, "Ms. Ruby!"

Naruto turned, his anger completely forgotten; there stood Ruby hugging Yukari while looking straight at him in recognition.

"Mr. Uzumaki?"

"Mr. Uzumaki?" Yukari echoed, looking up at the woman questionably.

"Ruby! Sis! How's it going?!" Naruto said hopping towards the two. He hadn't seen the woman in what he thought was an eternity.

"I'm fine, thank you…" Ruby's eyes widened as a sudden memory flashed through her mind. She gave a pout. "Mr. Uzumaki, you just ran off without even saying 'goodbye', not only was it extremely rude; I made me worried! I searched for hours to find you!"

Naruto too remembered the day she guided him around the school grounds; now, it did seem rude that he ran off just because he was creeped out by some cat-woman. He gave her a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his head, murmuring, "Sorry 'bout that…and stop calling me 'mister'! It makes me feel old!"

Yukari studied them both, what exactly were they talking about? Had they met before? Were they good friends…no…maybe something more?

"You both know each other?" They both nodded at her. Before asking anything else, she remembered her friends back in the old dungeon. "W-Wait! Never mind that! Ruby! Naruto-kohai! Tsukune and the others! T-They might be in trouble right now!"

"What happened to Tsukune?!" shouted Ruby. She blushed realizing how loud she was and continued, "I-I mean, please tell me the detail Yukari!"

Yukari's eyes glimmered with hope. "You mean you'll help! If y-you're not busy or anything…!"

"Of course I'll—"

"Of course _we'll_ help you, Yukari!" Naruto said, cutting the older girl off. "Any excuse not to go to class is good enough for me!" He turned to Ruby, grinning roguishly. He suddenly remembered she was the Headmaster's aide. "As long as I'm _excused_…right, sis?"

Ruby nodded with sweat on her brow.

--

It hadn't taken them long to reach the dungeon's entrance and travel deep within the ruins, especially with Naruto dragging both of them along. Deciding that finding their lost friends would take awhile, Ruby and Yukari blathered on random subjects; the blond paid no attention to their conversation. Instead, he pondered…

He had no idea how to think of them now, his classmates and everyone else on campus; the two girls in front of him were monsters, demons, creatures or whatever you called things that weren't human. The blond had just remembered, again, this fact. He shouldn't be interacting with them; he shouldn't be laughing with them; he shouldn't be friends with them; he shouldn't even be in this school at all. No…it was all the Kyuubi's fault, all the Akatsuki's fault, all the Headmaster's fault! He was probably the only human at school and if anyone learned that…he didn't want to think of what would happen.

Though, he had to think…

Naruto's eyes turned to Ruby and Yukari, both of them holding hands while laughing happily, even in the tense atmosphere in the walkway. He sighed.

…would they think the same way if they were stuck in a society of humans?

"Mr. Uzumaki! Watch where you step!"

"Stop calling me tha--eh?!" Naruto looked to the floor just as Ruby instructed and gasped. There on the ground laid an unconscious creature, moaning. It was some sort of man-bull hybrid, none that Naruto had seen before; it really creep him out.

"Oooghhh…" it snorted, turning slightly.

_Whatever or whoever knocked it out must've done a good job_, thought Naruto as he scooted towards Ruby's side. _Too good… _

"They must've been around here!" Yukari chirped, relieved at the sight of the defeated bull-man. "It looks like they traveled on over this way!"

"Wow…" Naruto whistled; he really did underestimate them. "They must be pretty strong, huh?"

Ruby gave him a look. "You really don't know Tsukune and others, do you?"

"Nope," the blond said giving her a smile back. At least now he knew he wouldn't have to save them all the time. "C'mon now, let's hurry up! I think I hear voices, Tsukune's I mean!"

"R-Really!?" Yukari asked.

"Nope, I was hoping you guys would move faster if I said that, ya know? Motivational an' stuff."

A large, round table smashed onto Naruto's head.

--

"Okay! Now I really hear voices!"

A large boulder broke in half atop of Naruto's head. He hit the floor, blood shooting on to the walls.

"No, Yukari! I think he was serious this time!"

"Really?!" Yukari said, lowering her wand.

"R-Rea—no—I mean, of course I was right!" Naruto chuckled, rising onto his knees, shaking the loose chucks of rock in his blond hair. "Yeah, yeah! Look, over there!"

They did, indeed, look forward. There a short distance away sat a faint light, surrounded by familiar figures. Yukari and Ruby exchanged a single look before racing down into the hall. Naruto picked himself off the ground and jogged on after them. The figures turned out to be Kurumu, Mizore, and Tsukune; oddly enough blood was pouring out of the brunet's nose, not that the blond could blame him. There was one girl he recognized, his redheaded classmate who sat seats in front of him…what was her name again?

"It really is them!" Yukari slowed down, waving towards them. "Everyone, are you alright?!"

"It's Yukari! And Ruby!" Kurumu said, the smile on her face disappeared when her eyes hit the blond youth. "Oh…it's that cat-boy guy…"

"What the hell didyu just call me?! Say that again, I dare you!" Naruto shouted from his side of the hallway.

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat-boy," said Kurumu, amused at the facial expression Naruto had formed.

"I AM NOT A CAT-BOY!!"

"Kitty-boy?"

"NO!!"

"Feline-boy?"

"NO!!"

"Otter-boy?" asked Mizore in a much more serious manner.

"D-DAMMIT, NO!" Naruto sputtered back.

Ruby shook her head as she watched Naruto yell at Mizore and Kurumu. Looking around she noticed one of her friends was still missing. Moka? Where was dear Moka? She stepped up towards a bewildered Tsukune.

"Tsukune, where is Mok—" Ruby didn't have time to finish as Tsukune's fist was driven into her slim stomach.

Even in mid scream, Naruto had seen all of it and it made his blood boil. If he hadn't been so angry, he would been surprised. Tsukune moved fast, fast as an average ninja; if Naruto had blinked at that very moment he wouldn't had seen the brunet's movement, and the blond knew that. Naruto's right hand quickly became a fist; but, before he could land a punch, Ruby had reacted first.

"W-What is it, Tsukune-san…?" Ruby placed both of her shaking hands on the boy's shoulders. "Now, after seeing each other for the first time in such a long period…you give me such a hard, hard hit…"

"W-Wha…?" Tsukune muttered with wide eyes.

Ruby's grip on the boy tightened. "I love it…!"

Naruto's jaw hit the floor. "What the FUCK?!" he yelled, but no one paid any mind to him.

Ruby had placed her head on Tsukune's chest, her hands trailing all over his back; moaning and panting, "Hit me more and more, like that Tsukune! Just like that!"

Tsukune had no idea how to react; stunned, he let out a shrill scream allowing saliva to shoot out of his mouth.

Meanwhile, Naruto couldn't believe what was going on…Ruby was one of his harem girls?! The words she had just said sounded like they came out of one of Jiraiya's books! That bastard! Not only did he hit her, he was practically drooling all over her! All thoughts of her and everyone else being a monster disappeared; this was all just going way too far.

"Tsukune, you perverted bastard!" Naruto cried, falling to his knees. "You p-perverted, perverted, perverted bastard!"

Tsukune had snapped out of his stunned form and looked over to the crying blonde. Quickly escaping Ruby's grasp, he wiped the blood of his nose.

"Finally…" Tsukune sighed, smirking. Naruto shook the tears of his face and looked back the brunet.

"Sorry, what? I was sort of out it. Couldja repeat that?"

Tsukune pulled a cigarette box from his back pocket and caught a lone smoke with his grinning mouth. As he lit it, he said, "With blondy around I suppose it'll be easier disposing the lot of you."

"Huh?"

--

--

--

I don't feel so good, I guess it's because I've been in front of this computer for such a long time...God have mercy.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Naruto or Rosario + Vampire.

Oh happy day! An update! Why you'd be interested in reading my story when there are tons of under appreciated stories out there is beyond me. Anyway, I think my muse came back to my after many sessions of sleeping, going to the beach, watching Light die to the sound of Ievan Polka, and watching a Japanese man play Touhou Project's Night of Nights with a ruler and other misc. objects. It truly was an enjoyable time. I hope I get nice reviews.

Oh, I suggest you read my story at 3/4s...and darken it. It'd probably do you some good for your eyes.

Ehh...

--

--

--

"With blondy around I suppose it'll be easier disposing the lot of you."

Exactly what that meant, Naruto had no idea, but to him the word 'disposing' never had a positive definition. Or at least he thought so. Usually it had something to do with trash or a rather lazy citizen went through unnecessary efforts to make children throw away his/her trash. Lazy bastards, the lot of them. Why, he remembered having to travel all the way to the village junkyard with the rest of Team 7. It was a useless mission and probably the one he hated the most other than having to that stupid cat, even Sasuke—

No, no. He didn't feel like going there. That was business to be dealt with another day.

In front of the blond was Tsukune, looking rather riled up and bored at the same time. As he chewed the end of his cigarette, Naruto felt a few drops of sweat travel through his pores. Obviously, this wasn't Tsukune. It couldn't be. The air around him didn't fit into that of the 'lucky-bastard-with-a-harem' sort, it was more into the 'I'm-going-to-have-to-kill-you-for-no-necessary-reason-but-I-swear-it's-nothing-personal' category. Man, did he hate people in that category. Fucking Gaara. At least he grew out of it.

"When'd you start smoking?" he said for the heck of it, wondering if the harem girls behind him were catching on. Of course they had to be a step ahead of him, they were harem girls; at least half of them had to be smart and the other dumb as rocks, it was the law. "It ain't healthy, ya know?"

The imposter snorted. "And when did you start caring?"

Naruto shrugged as he stood back up on his two legs, stretching his arms over his head. "I dunno, but I sure ain't the one with bags under my eyes. Shouldn't you be in the hospital or somethin'? With a machine attached to ya? 'Cause you sure look like it."

Tsukune's face seemed to darken considerably. Did the blond hit a nerve of some sort? That was a good sign. Striking nerves was an effective thing to do in the heat of battle, but it didn't look to pretty. One could never get used to the way another would twitch and spasm. It was, in Naruto's own words, creepy as hell.

"What about my looks?"

Naruto made a face.

"Nothin', but you do make Tsukune look creepy as fuck. Then again, that's just me."

--

Fetch didn't like the situation he was in or the blond brat that stood far from him.

Yes, his name was Fetch. Why? Because he wanted to be referred to as what he was, a fetch or a _doppelganger_, rather than use his real Japanese name. His name was just too long to bother with. Oh, how he hated long names. Just as any other person sharing the same occupation, Fetch had a harsh childhood; one filled with hurt, regret, humiliation, and a healthy dose teenage angst. Of course, it was the 80s after all.

--

**Bite-Sized Monster Dictionary**

Doppelganger:

'_Doppelganger' derives from __Doppel__ (double) and __Gänger__ (goer). Most doppelganger's usually choose the path of what is easy rather than what is right. Doppelgangers have the ability to copy forms of creatures and their special abilities they come into physical contact with. It is said that meeting your doppelganger is an omen of death or will result in you dying on the spot, either way contact with this creature will prove to be troublesome._

--

Inevitably, his upbringing caused him to suffer from one too many phobias; such as caligynephobia, harpaxophobia, and dikephobia. He didn't like the stares he did get back whenever he listed out the many fears he had and he certainly didn't like how some would even laugh! Insensitive bastards.

Dikephobia **was** an entirely serious matter. Couldn't they sympathize with his fear of justice, of the harsh judgment that society could easily throw upon him? No, they all had to laugh at him or dared to mock him by calling him homophobic. He certainly wasn't suffering from a hate or fear of homosexuals, at least he hoped not. That'd be a hassle to deal with.

For now, all he could think about was the horribly blond twit that wore an equally horrible expression on his face. Oh, how he hated the boy. A dark sensation twisted its way from the bottom of his stomach to the very back of his mouth, he was sure that it'd ram into his uvula and cause him to blow chunks; but fortunately enough, he didn't. He wouldn't want to waste a perfectly new cigarette, that'd just suck. His favorite brand of smokes were becoming more costly nowadays.

Inwardly thanking his days in bulimic therapy, Fetch grimaced as the brat made a comment on how his appearance looked so messy. Sure, his transformation was getting a tad ragged-looking, but that's what happens after 3 days on the run and suddenly getting surrounded by three b-beautiful girls and a loli. It didn't help much either with one of the girls being a masochist, really; it happens, what was he supposed to do? Insensitive, blond bastard.

Fetch dared to ask, "What about my looks?"

God, he hoped that the blond wouldn't say anything mean. He really, really, really hoped the blond wouldn't say anything mean. The doppelganger couldn't stand being called ugly. In fact, he suffered from cacophobia, fear of ugliness; which he determined was a hereditary trait, his mother and father always showed up as pleasant looking people so often that he'd never remembered what their true forms looked like. It was a shame, really.

Chewing nervously at his cigarette, Fetch noticed the blond open his mouth. He really wished the boy wasn't like all the other blonds he heard so much about; horrid, slow, contemptuous blonds. How the rumors made him shiver…

"Nothin', but you do make Tsukune look creepy as fuck. Then again, that's just me."

Fetch then knew that his xanthophobia was no coincidence.

--

"**I'll KILL YOU**!"

Naruto was punted into the air. As usual, he found everyone moving farther away, inwardly wondering if he could ever get a response like that from Orochimaru. Why? He didn't know; but in just a split second, he felt his body meeting that of a large stone wall, it wasn't long before he felt the sharp pain that erupted from his backside.

"Ouch," he said in a dull tone.

Tsukune had punched him. Easy going, nice guy _Tsukune_ of all people punched _him_. Then again, it wasn't Tsukune and he knew that; maybe that disguise worked better when the user moved at the speed of a freight train. Whatever.

The blond grunted as he stood back up on his two legs, rolled his shoulder to rid of the sudden stiffness, threw his blazer off to the floor, and made slowly his way towards the smirking brunet. He felt a shiver travel down his spine, that toothy smirk was creeping the hell out of him. Was the guy really that sensitive about his looks?

If only he knew.

Oh well, this way he could get even with the whole harem girl thing or at least feel like he could get even. Stupid imposter. Where was the real Tsukune when you needed him the most?

"W-What was that for!?" Yukari shrieked. Naruto shook his head sadly, kids were always the first to shot out the obvious, he sure used to. "What's wrong with you!?"

"Better yet, where have you guys taken Tsukune and Moka!?" a voice, Naruto identified as Kurumu.

The imposter stepped back, his eyes watching her or rather her large chest move threateningly close. Naruto rolled his eyes. The guy wouldn't last a day in Konoha. The wuss. He shook his head before eyeing the redhead beside him. She regarded her classmate for a split second before turning back. Naruto arched another brow.

"Hmm. Small world."

"Whatever," she sniffed.

Just what the doctor prescribed; one psychopath with a beauty-complex, one a perverted know-it-all loli, one expressionless girl with an otter-complex, one blue haired girl with an impressive rack, one masochist employed by the school, and one redhead with an ego the size of an Akimichi in battle. It would be miraculous if the blond escaped alive. Truly miraculous.

"Let's face it," Mizore started coolly, giant slabs of ice erupted off her finger tips, "it's not like any of your friends were any match for us. That minotaur hardly gave us a fight, so I doubt you can do much yourself now. Just give up."

'_What's a minotaur?' _Naruto thought.

"Yeah! Now tell us where our friends are." Kurumu threw her fist in the air.

"Including m—!" Ruby cut herself off. "Including darling Tsukune!"

Naruto rolled his blue eyes. Typical harem girls, he hadn't really expected Ruby was one of them, it was a shame really; she was pretty cute, in an older sisterly way. He really needed a girlfriend now that he thought about it.

That was when Kurumu started a long passionate speech on how she and her cohorts would search, in her own words, through hell and heaven for her darling Tsukune. Mizore, Ruby, and Yukari agreed; their own fanatic obsession for the boy was presented in a large blinding aura that danced off their bodies. Kurumu ended her speech with her hands clasped together over her chest. She gave a long, loving sigh.

One girl was enough though; Naruto eyed the girls in front of him with caution. One was more than enough. Suddenly, he shivered. Why? He had no clue.

"Oooooooou!" the redhead whined. She swung her upper body swung left and right childishly. With an outstretched hand, a bat landed onto her palm and turned into a mace. Naruto took a step away as she began to wave the weapon in her hand. "Forget lover-boy! Where have you taken my older sister, fiend?!"

Naruto felt his teeth chatter together. Now a battle crazed girl with an older sister-complex? His body gave a short spasm before he hugged himself. "Uh-huh-huh-huh!"

"Are you cold or something?" the girl, whatever her name was, said. He shook his head and gave a sigh. She shrugged before stretching her free, petite arm out towards the fiend that stood opposite to them. "Surrender, reveal their location, beg for mercy, and turn yourself to the police; then maybe we'll consider letting you live!"

The freak paid no mind to her. Instead, he was having a sort of seizure of his own muttering here and there about pretty girls, blond bastards (which Naruto took offense too), and the horrid police. The redheaded girl twitched, her arm fell back to her side as she tightened her fist till her knuckles went white. Naruto felt the sudden need to leave _now_.

"I-Ignore me…? Me? Me?!" Her shoulders shuddered as she brought her mace up and held it like a baseball bat. "A proud S-Class _Vampire_?!"

"_Vampire_? What's that?"

Naruto only blinked as he felt the girls visibly trying with all their strength not to look at him. It was as if he lost a couple hundred cool points but no one would say why. Why would no one turn at him? Was it something he said? He hoped not.

--

"Are you serious?" Fetch gawked. "Are you a fucking idiot?! You have no idea what a _Vampire_ is?! You fucking blond—"

A single leg stopped him in mid-rant, the doppelganger dove to the right and rolled out the way before it made contact; but he was caught off guard by another kick to the face. Who exactly kicked him he wasn't sure, but it hurt like a bitch. He flew backwards and caught himself fast enough before a wave of ice caught his legs. Crazy-ass _Yuki-Onna_, he knew she was trouble just by looking at her.

Watching the other girls finally starting to take action, Fetch felt his eyes overfilling. What had he done to deserve this? He never asked for this. All he wanted to do was run from those filthy tyrants called police, make it to home base with all his money and most importantly his best friends Tsuchigumo and Minotaur; that was all. Such was the life of a brilliant man such as him.

But it was unfair. Entirely and completely unfair.

While coordinating through teary eyes, Fetch almost lost an arm to the girl in the mini-skirt…the red one.

"Hold still, vermin!" the she-devil had ordered for the umpteenth time, holding her mace high above her head.

Fetch only could grimace as he felt the ground quake from the blow he almost had taken. God, was that girl scary. What did her henchmen call her again? Koko? It didn't matter much. Soon he was sure to grow a phobia on little redheaded girls. What did they call it? Gingerphobia? He wasn't sure, but it already sounded menacing.

"Hey, bastard!"

The fetch jumped back evading the blond punk's punch. Really. What was up with kids nowadays, calling out their attacks and revealing themselves before you could make any damage? Stupid kids.

The blond followed his fist towards the ground and placed both of his hands flat on the floor, flung his legs high in the air before bringing a devastating kick to Fetch. God, that blond was scary. Fortunately, the brat didn't hit its target, though he did leave a nice mark on the floor. Fetch grunted as he sidestepped out the way before bending his legs and springing himself up into the air.

He bit his cigarette as he back flipped backwards before the stacked girl could slice him in half with her razor sharp nails. Fetch inwardly cried as he she turned to strike again, her breasts bounced in what seemed to be slow motion. His life flashed before his eyes.

Where was Tsuchigumo when he needed him?

Just as his more recent memories came to his mind, Fetch felt a splitting ache from the back of his head. His eyes widened as warm blood slithered down the back of his neck. Fetch grunted, his body becoming heavier and heavier before he slid off to his side. No, he couldn't die, not yet! He had dreams, big and wonderful dreams; he was going to go into therapy and get a girlfriend! He really needed a girlfriend now that he thought about it.

This stupid concussion wouldn't stop him, no, it couldn't! His arms gave out under him. Alright, the concussion won. But that wouldn't stop him from seeing his nemesis, his cruel punisher, the fiend who would ultimately end him. Tears overfilled his eyelids and fell daintily one by one as he twisted his head upwards. His eyes widened before slowly closing.

"Damn you…" he whispered harshly, "loli!"

Forever he would remember that contemptuous smirk and those maddened eyes. The eyes of a true monster.

--

"Bull's-eye!" shouted Yukari as she and Ruby exchanged a high-five. Her pride was shortly killed by the flat look the man gave her on the ground; turning around, she found Mizore, Kurumu and the two first years giving her that same expression. "W-What?"

"So lame."

"N-Naruto-kohai!" Yukari , looking completely betrayed.

"Entirely overused and painfully ironic," Mizore said. "I'm not even sure how you could've pulled a tub from here. We're in a dungeon."

"It's magic! What do you expect?"

"How was _that_ supposed to knock him out?" Kokoa asked. "In fact, why did blood even…"

"Shut up—"

"Ehhh…" Despite his inability to move his arms in legs, the man spat his cigarette and the blood that leaked from his mouth. He coughed. "It didn't look too cool either."

"How would you know how it looked?! That tub was totally out of your line of vision!"

"So lame…" Naruto repeated. Walking over to the downed man, he leaned over from a short distance with a scowl on his face. Exactly how much time did he waste before Yukari finally dropped that piece of metal on the guy? Man, this was so lame! "So…where exactly are Moka and Tsukune?"

The bastard gave a sneer and hissed, "Get the hell away from me, you yellow-haired piece of shit! Come any closer and I'll staple your balls to your forehead!"

Naruto blinked and the look on his face was incredulous. Was this fool bipolar? Had he just been fighting another crazy? He always got the crazies. It just wasn't fair.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"**You**! **I fucking hate yellow**!"

The girls behind the blond made faces before making their way down the hallway, feeling as if they had been cheated out of their efforts and troubles. Exactly how many calories did this short brawl take from them? It had better be a lot or else the doppelganger would be suffering again.

"Come on Naruto, if we keep looking we'll probably find them soon enough!" Yukari fussed, offering a strained smile. "Let's just leave him!"

"Kay…"

"**Yellow is the color of evil and piss**!"

Arching his eyebrow, Naruto was about to retort back before feeling Yukari tugging at his hand. He let Yukari drag him through the darkened hall, again questioning her strength. The blond tugged at his red headband. The color of evil, huh? Memories of Orochimaru came back to him.

"I was sure purple was the color of evil."

Of course, he wasn't referring to the giant snake, Manda, but purple rope tied around Orochimaru and his minion's waists. It was the symbol of the blasted snake bastard's power. What did Kiba refer it as being again?

A butt rope?

Gah, no! That sounded entirely wrong.

Butt tie?

No.

Butt bow?

Yes. Yes! He had it. It was genius! Absolutely genius!

"What's with the creepy smile, Naruto-kohai?"

Oops.

"Nothin'…"

--

"—of course my sister would've had no trouble with that lazar. It was a pity she wasn't here already!"

Minutes had passed since they first started their aimless trek through the dungeon together, but as always someone had to go and ruin the mood. This time it was, who Naruto finally could address, Kokoa who ruined the atmosphere. She couldn't hide her sister-complex even if it came to a situation between life and death.

Naruto couldn't really see any other resemblances between Moka and Kokoa other than their names and their faces. Were they really sisters? Naw, probably just a huge coincidence. It happened all the time right? Poor, lonely girl must have a huge thing for her upperclassman, it was almost saddening. Of course, Naruto didn't care much. Instead of dwelling on the subject, he felt his mouth yearning to be open. Oh, he knew what to say!

Naruto snorted. "You just like to hear yourself go on and on, huh? I'll admit that fight was disappointing, ya know, but there's no point on wondering how poor Moka would last against that crazy."

Kokoa twitched as did the rest of the girls. He wondered what he had said this time. She turned to the blonde with both her hands to her hips with a scowl.

"Who are you to talk? _'I'll admit'_ that many simpletons know of my older sister here in Youkai Academy, but I'm sure you don't! My sister would've defeated him with a single flick of her finger," she sniffed. Again with sniffing, was this girl sick or something? "Disappointing, pah! You hardly did anything!"

Naruto sputtered angrily. "M-M-ME!? I swat him good, like, two times! And what did you do? You just made it even harder to come even close to the guy! You swung your stupid bat around and almost hit all of us cause of it!"

Said bat, appeared instantly in front of the blond, opened its wings and hissed. Naruto hopped back in surprise, not that he was scared, no. Who'd be scared of such a cute face? Not him, no. In fact, even Mizore hadn't flinch as the bat flew around her hissing. Why was the bat hissing at her? Because Naruto hid behind her, in the most manly way possible, of course.

"See! See?! No control!" Naruto yelled as he evaded the bat. "No control!"

"Excuse me?!" Kokoa rambled, flinging her arms up and down. "Y-You could've—I d-d-d-don't kno—shot him with your laser vision! Yes! Your laser vision! But then you went and fought him with your hands! Shows what kind of super advanced cat-cyborg you are!"

Naruto froze in mid-step and felt his muscles controlling his jaw suddenly give out. The bat bounced of the back of his head.

"Cat-cyborg? Really?! Naruto, that's amazing!" Ruby cooed with both her hands to her cheeks.

"No wonder we couldn't figure out what kind of monster he was!" Kurumu exclaimed in awe.

"I knew it," Mizore said, smacking a fist in her flattened hand. "But, who in the world could have the brains to create such a thing?"

--

In the teachers' lounge; Natsume Kyuusaku, Naruto's homeroom teacher, sneezed.

--

In an alternate universe, in the teachers' lounge; Natsume Akiko, Gaara's homeroom teacher, sneezed.

--

Naruto felt his body spasm. Before he could cry and give a passionate explanation on how he could never be a cat cyborg, whatever a cyborg was, he and the rest of them heard a soft panting and sound of shoes scuffing off against the floor. When whoever it was came closer they slowed down till the stopped. A feminine sort of squeak was heard. Could it have been Tsukune?

"T-Tsukune…? Is t-that you?" called out the voice.

That definitely wasn't Tsukune.

"Moka! Moka! That's you, right!?" Kurumu hollered back through the darkness of the hallway. "Not another phony bastard, right?!"

"I hope not…" murmured Ruby.

"It better not be." Mizore pulled her hands out her sleeves.

Naruto didn't think he'd meet any else who could pull off the adorable and life-threatening look Mizore gave off. Man, did he wish there were more female ninja like that out in the world. He was sure if there was any girl like that in Akatsuki he'd probably find their visits more pleasant. Oh, how he wished.

"K-Kurumu! Mizore!" Through the shadows emerged Moka, beautiful as ever despite her shaken up look. She stumbled forward, but was quickly caught by her blue haired rival in love. "Thanks, Kurumu. I'm so glad I found you all!"

"Moka! You're alright!" Ruby said, her face practically shining.

"I guess I am, aren't I?"

Kurumu's scowl softened considerably. She helped the fanged girl back up on her own two feet. Sighing, Kurumu crossed her arms under her chest with a chiding sort of look.

"Moka…you really are useless without Tsukune aren't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose I am…"

With just a smile, Moka was able make Naruto's legs become stiff as melted butter. She sure was beautiful, but a guy like himself didn't have a chance with a girl like that, but he could sure hope so. It was heartbreaking when the blond remembered she was part of Tsukune's harem. Naruto blinked in recognition, where exactly was Tsukune? The bastard didn't even bother staying by Moka's side in a place like this? He was sure to pay for that mistake.

A sharp pain in his ribs stopped his thinking track. Naruto turned to see Kokoa's elbow lodged directly into his side, he couldn't decide whether it was the strength of Kokoa or the boniness of her elbow that hurt him more.

"Would you stop laughing like that? Really, last time you did that in class one of the weaker monsters fell out his seat."

"Would you mind removing your dagger of an elbow from my rib cage?"

"With pleasure," she seethed, intentionally pushing him to the point of stumbling out of place before retrieving her so called 'dagger of an elbow'.

Regaining his footing, Naruto threw on an ugly face before forcing his lips to peel back, twisting it into a crazed smile. Relax, relax. She was Moka's sister after all, just a tad temperamental, short, and flat-chested. Of course he wasn't going to go and punch her in the face. No, that'd be rude. She just needed a bit of patience and consideration and presto! Instant Moka, redheaded version!

Beautiful.

"So, all of you already defeated that man responsible for all this?" Moka asked, her hand hovering over her lips. Half a dozen heads nodded in response. She blinked, but smiled again. "That's a relief, now with that taken care of we can deal with Tsukune! But there are three students injured…one of us has to get help!"

Tsukune? What happened to Tsukune?

"Do you ever pay attention?" Kokoa asked incredulously.

No.

"Figures."

Looking back at to the 4 older girls, Naruto suddenly felt his throat tighten to the point were it felt as if someone had him in a chokehold. Of course that was what happened when Akashiya Moka stared at you right in the eyes. What could she be staring at him for? Naruto felt as if his entire existence became insignificant as he stared right back.

By some unseen force he felt his eyes being dragged downwards till he hit the rosary that sat right above her bosom. The jewel that was placed right in the middle of the cross resembled that of a slit eye; which for some reason made memories of the mysterious silver haired beauty flood back to him. He felt a deep growl echo off the walls of the sewers that rested in the back of his mind. The fox had sensed something was off, Naruto knew. He always knew.

Naruto watched as Moka leaned in towards Kurumu that stood closest to her, her eyes never leaving him. "What is _he_ doing here?"

At that split second, Naruto considered going suicidal.

"Oh. Don't mind him," Kurumu said waving a hand over her face. "Yukari and Ruby just decided to bring him just in case."

"Are you sure it's safe if…?"

"Entirely safe!"

Mizore nodded, rolling her lollipop off the surface of her tongue. "And if he does get dangerous we could always hit the emergency off switch."

"Wha-wha-what?"

"Where's the emergency off switch?"

"I think it's either on the back of his head under his headband or his left nipple right over his heart. That's what I remember from the comics."

Naruto slapped his hand over both sides of his chest defensively.

"Well…" Moka trailed off, still regarding the blond that stood meters away from her. She was remained silent as her eyes left Naruto for the rosary on her chest. Naruto couldn't help but wonder what was going on with the pink haired beauty. Her eyes finally went back up to him. "Naruto! Would you mind doing us a favor?"

Naruto straightened his back and tensed. "N-No, I guess I wouldn't! What'd you want?"

Moka gave a brief smile before her face turned serious. "Would you mind going out for help? You need to run fast as you can back to the academy and call for help! You have to go because you're the fastest all out all of us!"

"O-Okay…" He chose not to ask how she knew before remembering the fruit hunt. "I'll get goin' right now!"

"I'll go with you too!" Yukari exclaimed, before her arm was pulled back. "Huh?"

"You can't go Yukari. We need you!" said Moka.

"Why?"

"We need you to help us with _Tsukune_."

Yukari had gotten the message her eyes widened and her face grimacing. Naruto wondered what that message meant and what could exactly be wrong with Tsukune. If it had anything to do with Tsukune, these sorts of things always had hidden meaning, he knew that. He did things like that when he was younger or at least tried, it never worked though. Especially when he tried the whole hidden-messaging thing with Sakura. It was a bit heartbreaking when she didn't understand what he was saying, not that she could blame her. How could you really figure out that he wanted ramen when he was talking about a flowerbed?

"Would you mind if Kokoa went with you instead?" Moka asked with both her hands clasped together. She said as if she was asking her sister rather than the blond right next to her. Kokoa gawked.

"Me?! Why me? I don't want to go with that idiot! I want to stay here with you!"

"I'm sorry Kokoa, but you have to go him. You have to make sure you both don't get lost!"

What was he, 6, like Yukari?

A brick broke in half on his head. So, she did hear him talk his thoughts aloud. Pity.

"F-Fine!" Kokoa hissed through clenched teeth. She twisted her body around to face the opposite direction. She stomped with every step she took forward. "Let's go, idiot!

Naruto shrugged as he jogged up to her side. With a wave of his arms, he scooped his classmate up into his arms and began to run. Of course he remembered where he was going; he wasn't that much of an old dead last anymore. Jiraiya actual made it a propriety in training his memory, seeing as it was one of the more standard skills that would come in handy throughout his ninja career.

Ignoring the cries that came from the mortified girl in his arms, he continued forward at a healthy speed.

--

"That was an awfully good thing of you to do, Naruto. I'm proud of you. Many lives may have been saved today."

Naruto shivered despite the praise he was receiving. The headmaster or 'priest-guy' stood right next to him, the man's eyes glowing straight at him. Sheesh…and they said _he_ had laser vision.

"Whatever…"

"Indeed."

With nothing else to say, the headmaster left chuckling, leaving the blond to watch the authorities gather up all the casualties and the 3 wounded and older monsters. The criminals, he suspected. He recognized the bull-man and the psychopath (who gave him an evil eye and promised to kill him in gruesome ways before dyeing his hair black), but not the mutilated man with in the striped shirt. Nope. Whatever happened to that guy, Naruto had nothing to do with; the man's forearms were snapped in half for crying out loud! The blond shuddered.

"Hey, Naruto! Are you alright?!"

Naruto turned to see a worn-out Tsukune running towards him with the group of pretty girls behind. Oh, there was Kokoa; he wondered where she ran off to when they the ambulance and the rehabilitation force came. The brunet stopped and slapped his hand over Naruto's shoulder for support. The whiskered youth wished his friend would stop panting so much. Wait. Were they even friends?

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, but shouldn't I be the one asking you that Tsukune?" he asked dubiously. "And stop panting so much, it's creepy."

"S-Sure…" Finally catching his breath, Tsukune released his hold on the blond. The small, apologetic smile on the boy's face grew to be a nervous expression. "I hope you don't mind me asking…but…"

"But?"

There was a long pause between the two; an uncomfortable one at that. Naruto had no idea what could be going on at the moment seeing as he hadn't stayed to retrieve Tsukune. Whatever the case was it couldn't be too bad…right?

"C-Could you follow the rest of us for a second, Naruto? It's really important."

"Uh, sure?"

--

Being the all around nice guy he was, Tsukune couldn't help but feel guilty; not only because of the fact he had let Moka's blood take control again or that he almost punch Moka in the face while he was in his _ghoul_-like state (that really made him feel lower than shit, thank heavens that Ruby and Yukari were there). No, it was the fact that the girls told him that he couldn't trust Uzumaki Naruto that made him feel this way. From what he could tell Naruto was a nice guy but certainly hoped that it wasn't the type of nice guy Hokuto was. He really didn't need something like that happening again. Naruto even risked his life to save Kurumu that one time! He had to be a nice guy, right? Right?

He hoped so.

They had led Naruto to a small clearing far from the school dungeons to prevent being caught by authorities or risking the safety of other students. He really wished that what Moka said was untrue and that inner Moka was just playing some sort of joke!

Inner Moka. Joking.

No, it was horrible but true. Naruto was, in fact, screwed. How Tsukune pitied him so.

"So…what's this all about?" the blond asked, his eyes blinking with the innocence of a toddler. Poor boy.

Ignoring him, Tsukune leaned towards Moka whispering, "Are you sure we're doing the right thing doing this, Moka? I'm sure this has to be some mistake!"

Tsukune narrowly dodge a swipe in the face from Moka's glowing rosary.

"I-I'd like to believe you, Tsukune, but you know how she is…" Tsukune gave a nod. "And this is for your own safety anyway! I wish you'd at least be appreciative!"

"I know, but—"

"Please, just trust me Tsukune."

"It still feels wrong…"

"I'm sure if it is wrong, Naruto would understand."

"…I really doubt that…"

Silence fell. The other girls behind them chose not to say anything for the sole reason they had no idea what to say. Ruby and Yukari were downright conflicted with the matter seeing as both of them held high opinions for the blond boy. As for Mizore she had her share of doubts but threw them down when she thought of the danger Tsukune could be placed in (which he found quite flattering). Kurumu on the other hand…said nothing, but that conflicted look on her face was enough. Kokoa had no idea what was going on but didn't care for Naruto's fate seeing as it had nothing to do with her. Oh well.

"Tsukune."

He looked up to see Moka's face grimace. He knew what that meant; that poor fool, Naruto. Now, if only his underclassman had any idea, if only.

"Okay," he mumbled uneasily, his hand reached towards her chest.

--

His jaw dropped. His legs buckled. His gut twisted in ways he didn't want to think about. More importantly, the fox cackled from the confines of his prison. Naruto had no idea what was happening in that split second, but he knew it all was caused by that unseen force that was blanketing his form.

Actually, it sort of could be seen, that ray of purple light that seemed to cut the sky into equal halves. If it counted of course, that light hadn't even come into contact with him. Though, that flurry of bats may have, he couldn't tell, they flew away before he could register what was going on. Naruto knew something big was about to happen, by the bats of course and just maybe that big laser beam in the sky, and he just wasn't going to like it.

Just as the light died, Naruto wondered if his mandible could further dislodge itself from his skull; there, stood the silver-haired beauty that he had seen on his first day of school. Her head was held high as she regarded him with a steady glare. Despite the sickening sensation deep in his stomach, Naruto decided then that she was hot.

Why hadn't he made this revelation when he first laid eyes on her? Oh, that's right. His head was almost cleaved off by that rock she had thrown. Now that he thought about, she did look an awful like Mok…okay, that just didn't make sense.

As she took a step forward, Naruto could only watch as a contemptuous smile grew on her flawless face.

"Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?"

Well…shit.

--

"I'm telling you for the last time, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Naruto ducked another high kick before throwing his body behind a single dead tree. "Believe me!"

"I'll believe you when I want to." Moka brought her fist back. The tree was no more.

"Then why won't you believe me now?!"

"I don't feel like it."

Tsukune could only watch from a distance as 'Inner' Moka mercilessly hunted the blond boy. It was a shame really, Tsukune was actually looking forward to finally having a man-friend. Spending so much time surrounded by girls after your affections was a tad straining, only because he didn't have a single guy to talk to.

Of course he could talk to the girls, but it wouldn't share the same effect as it would be talking to a person of your own sex. He really wished he could talk about the latest soccer game with someone other than his women friends. Gin didn't count, even if he wouldn't say he always held that grudge against Tsukune for having his own harem. The many trials of a man such as himself had to go through, the demanding trials.

"Watch out for his rocket-punch, Moka!" Kokoa cried out. There, proudly shown, was that sister-complex.

Rocket-punch?

"Hit his left nipple, Moka! It's the only way!" That time it was Mizore.

Tsukune chose not to ask, but that last comment had given Moka ideas. With great speed and accuracy, the brunet watched in horror as the vampire shoved her hand right through Naruto's chest (more precisely his heart/left nipple). There went his eligible best man-friend.

"Moka! What have you done?!" he cried, his hands clutching at his brown hair. Murder was going slightly over board with the whole protect Tsukune's identity thing. The police were just a few acres away! He'd be sure to try and reason with 'Inner' Moka later, if he had the chance.

Poof.

Poof?

The bloodied corpse surrounding Moka's petite hand had been replaced with a part of the dead tree that she had destroyed seconds ago. Somewhat disappointed with the lack of blood on her hands, the vampire grimaced as she clenched her right hand into a fist. Eyes turned towards the sound of panting; up on a thick tree branch stood Naruto looking rather shaken-up at the moment. Inwardly, Tsukune was relieved. There had been no crime.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! I could've died!"

Moka rolled her eyes.

"That was the point." She jumped into the air and brought back. "Now hold still!"

--

"Fuck that!"

Dodging another death-promising blow, Naruto landed back on the ground with his fists ready. There would be no more running this time. Pretty girl or no pretty girl, he wasn't going to back down, his fight with Haku had proven that! Then again, Haku was a guy. Shudders.

Moka had quickly caught up to him with her leg shooting down towards his abdomen. Naruto quickly caught her leg with his two hands, but soon regretted as her strength really was something to be reckoned with. What was this girl made out of? Steel? No, he was sure it was diamonds.

Even with his hold on her leg, Moka was able to twist her upper body and ram her elbow to the side his defenseless face. Naruto was able to see that pretty grin on her face before he flew off into the distance. So many trees were destroyed by that single move.

When he finally stopped rolling against the ground, Naruto slowly pushed himself back up, stumbling, on his own two feet. That elbow had been certainly strong and bony. He scowled as he saw that wicked version of Moka come his way, though, her form did look a bit hazy. Wait, that was just him and his concussion.

He charged forward sending her a sloppy dozen of punches and kicks, which she blocked and evaded with ease. She then slipped under his last punch and caught him, literally, in a chokehold. Despite how uncomfortable he was, Naruto still felt warm fuzzy feelings at the thought of being held by the beauty.

"Any last words?"

Now if only the sun was setting and they were somewhere with a view of the ocean. It'd be wonderful, perfect at most. He probably could die happy. Oh, wait. They were right on the edge of a cliff by the sea and it was already late in the afternoon. Beautiful. At least through that chokehold he could still reach both his hands.

"I just hope you know how to swim." What an original comeback.

How he wished he could've seen her face when she felt rough hands pull her high up into the air or maybe the part where his replacement clone popped within her arms, oh, how he wished. Watching from the bottom of his 'Naruto chain', dozens of his clones that were held together by the ankles and hands, evil Moka was jerked high up in the air. A rouge grin made its way on Naruto's face.

"FIRE!"

With the likeness of a leather whip the 'Naruto chain' lashed and Moka sent into the ocean with a cry. It would've been perfect had she not been able to destroy the clone that had held her by the collar. A shame, really, but at least it worked out. With his chest puffing out with pride, Naruto had won the battle; but the air sputtered out once he remembered he had just thrown one of the prettiest girls he had ever laid eyes on into the ocean. A bitter victory it was.

"MOKA!"

There was a splash.

That was Tsukune who left his jacket and dived into the water. Leaning over the edge of the cliff, Naruto looked down to see the brunet swimming viciously after the thrashing girl. Had she not attacked him, the blond was sure he would've done the same thing.

"I wonder how they'll get back up," he mumbled.

There was a sharp pain in his back side and Naruto found himself staring into the eyes of his own murky reflection. So he had been punted into the air again. Figures.

"That's for my older sister, worthless wretch!"

He shrugged it off and with years off practice, Naruto twisted in mid-air so that his feet were facing the water below him. He landed on the surface with a small splash, frowning when he noticed the bottom of his pants getting wet. He couldn't help but change his frown to a smug smirk as he heard gasps over the roaring waves. That'd show them that he wasn't any pansy-ass cat cyborg; whatever that was.

"That's so cool!"

"How the hell is he walking on water?! He's a cat cyborg!"

"No, I'm pretty sure he's hovering."

"Yeah…I'm starting to think he's leaning towards the otter category."

"A super-advanced albino otter cyborg?"

"I-It's genius!"

"Indeed."

"S-So cool!"

Scowling, Naruto ignored the girls and made his way towards the pair swimming a short distance away. They paid no mind to him and were both more preoccupied with trying to getting a hold of each other. How sweet.

Squatting down just a meter away from them, Naruto placed his elbows on his knees and his face on his elbow; hoping they'd at least notice him. They weren't, but he'd kept faith. Lots of it.

"Just hold on to me, Moka! I'll swim us to shore as fast as I can!"

"T-Tsukune…!" Moka whispered, wincing for whatever reason.

"Yo!"

They both heads turned to see Naruto watching them from a position that could be only called unique seeing as they all were on water, well, _in_ water. He could only guffaw at the priceless faces that girl and boy gave him. It almost made him feel better about almost getting beat up by a school girl.

"N-Na-r-r-u-tttt-o…"

"Yeah, Tsukune?"

"Y-You're walking on water." At least he could talk correctly this time.

"Yeah, I was just wonderin' if you," he motioned to Tsukune, "and her," he motioned to Moka, "needed some help getting back on dry land."

The look on Moka's face made him flinch, but he was able to act it off. He was suddenly wishing that looks like that could kill, just think of the many opponents he could easily demolish. Then again…the Sharingan probably already had that technique. Cheating Uchiha bastards.

"Why do you mock me?" she asked, cringing as she held tight onto Tsukune's back.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I wasn't the one who started the whole brawl anyway; just think of it as payback but cooler."

"I'd love to see you skinned and thrown in a bag of salt right about now."

"I get that a lot."

"Why YES, Naruto! I'd love to be saved right about now!" said Tsukune. Feeling a tad rushed and cheated out of his revenge, Naruto bothered asking him why so soon. "There are sharks here, remember? This ocean's red for a reason."

A fin the size of a Gamabunta's eye rose out of the water.

Needless to say, the girls back on dry land would soon be further impressed with Naruto's ability to run up walls.

--

"Promise to keep this a secret, alright, Naruto? It's bad enough I came here by accident, and I really don't want to be murdered by…I don't know…the board of Education? Still, you can keep me being a 'you-know-what' secret, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

'You-know-what' was Tsukune's way of saying human being or at least that's what Naruto inferred. The brunet could be speaking in that hidden message talk for all he knew. One could never know.

Honestly though, he was relieved to know that he wasn't the only human in school, not that he wanted to tell any of them just yet. He wasn't going to be that trusting now; they could easily blackmail him for whatever purposes. What purposes? He did not know. Despite those feelings, he still kept a some what positive opinion over the group; and even pitied Tsukune, a normal civilian caught up in things far more powerful than he could imagine. Poor boy. It was a wonder how he survived the first year.

"Hey, hey! Don't look so uneasy now, Tsukune! I'm not that much of a dick, so you can count on me to keep quiet," he declared with a finger to his mouth for emphasis.

"See, see! I told you Naruto-kohai wasn't a bad guy! But none of you listened!" As creepy as young Yukari was, Naruto couldn't help but appreciate her loyalty. Even Ruby seemed to share her thoughts, a pity she was a harem girl.

"Alright, so the otter cyborg can keep a secret. Hooray." Naruto winced as he heard Kokoa talk; he winced again when he remembered he'd probably hear her voice everyday for the rest o his stay in Youkai. "Besides, what were you guys talking about anyway?"

"Nothing for you to know, Kokoa." That time it was Moka, whose eyes bore deep into Naruto's soul. Oh, how he shivered in delight. Or fear. He couldn't tell.

"O-Older sister?!"

Didn't he mention that Kokoa was left in the dark while he and Tsukune had straightened everything out? No, he didn't, but he was satisfied. Who knew how that _vampire_-thing would react? She'd probably go ballistic if she found out her older sister was interacting with a lowly human. Did she really thing humans were lowly beings? Naruto didn't know, he just guessed from what the fox had always referred him as.

"Well," he started, looking up at wicked Moka's crimson eyes with a clumsy smile. "At least we won't hafta fight anymore, right? It'd be a shame to hafta go all out against you!"

"Wrong."

Naruto blinked.

"Huh?"

"We are going to fight again, believe me."

"W-What?!" He didn't a rematch, he wanted a date!

As damp as she was, the water did nothing to affect the aristocratic aura she practically shot out at him. That was the sort of feeling he get whenever he was close by Hyuuga Hiashi, 'cept 1000 times hotter. Now, if Hiashi was a 1000 times hot…no, no, bad mental images. Stop it, Naruto! Stop it!

"Next time, I'll be sure your petty little tricks won't get to me."

This was bad. She really was looking forward to that fight. It was only by luck he was able to throw her in water, a weakness, had they have been further away from the ocean Naruto was sure he may have lost. He only take so much of it; the injustice of beating up a pretty girl. Though, she probably had the power to rip him apart with her hands. Maybe if he placed a paper bag over her face, it'd be much easier to sock her with a good Rasengan or two, perhaps even a Rasen Shuriken? Oh, how much Jiraiya had (and slightly Kakashi) rubbed off of him?

"W-W-Well, w-we can call a truce for n-now, right? Right?! A truce?" He shot his hand out towards her. "A truce would be so nice, especially in the beginning of the school year!"

She smirked and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why, is the pussycat scared?"

"That's _otter_."

"Really, Moka, get with the program."

She ignored them, stepped forward and reached out for Naruto's hand. Yes, yes! As interesting his fight was, Naruto was not looking forward to more bruises. Shaking her hand meant salvation. Salvation was good. Wait. Why was she bringing her leg back like that?

Naruto toppled over, hugging his abdomen in pure agony.

"That's for throwing me into the ocean."

"S-Sa-err-eee…!" Naruto coughed out, talking was hard when all the wind was knocked out of you.

From underneath his right shoulder, Naruto watched wicked Moka's shadow shift her hands to her hips.

"Apology noted." Even her words seemed to beat him silly! "Also, I'd like you to remember one last thing…"

With the pain somewhat lessened, Naruto lifted his head.

"Y-Yeah?"

He looked up to see Moka's stern expression morph into a smirk.

"Know your place."

--

--

--

God, did that ending suck. As did all those fight scenes. It's been awhile, I know; but you can't really write when you don't want to, ya know? I wanted to finish chapter 6, yes, but I didn't want to write it. In fact, I had to rewrite the whole thing because the first version sucked! It sucked so bad, I couldn't even bring myself to type a single letter. I guess I'll apologize for taking so long…not really; but your interest for my story is greatly appreciated!

Oh, and please take a look at my other Rosario To Vampire/Naruto crossover! I'll have you know it's the first of its kind…sort of.

Thanks very much for reading.


End file.
